Dolly, Katie and myself had a great time a week or so ago when we recorded a film for a new Virgin 1 TV programme. Made by ITV productions, the show Kinky and Proud (part of the ....and Proud series) is expected to be aired in July though at the moment nobody - including the producer - knows when. It will be worth watching though as it features a nice messy scene between our differently sized sploshers.

As well as being interviewed, the girls took part in an impromptu sketch based on Dolly's rubbish superhero character, SuperDoll. Rescuing our hapless heroine (Katie), she has soon spilled custard down her bikini top...

a bucket of chocolate over her head and frankly made a mess of the entire rescue! This sparks a tit-for-tat food fight with both girls ending up topless and nicely covered in sweet stuff. Because the TV

crew wanted it adlib (though I also had to been seen directing) the sketch is somewhat more frenetic than usual with food flying everywhere including a vicious pint of cream thrown in Dolly's face by the oh-so-gentle Katie.It also includes a very sexy bit of cake sitting by Katie (into a large strawberry and cream gateau) whilst Dolly has to settle for her cake being pushed down the inside of her tights!

The crew came away delighted with what they had seen and the attitude of the girls - who hadn't stopped laughing all the way through. David the director said, "I didn't think it would be as funny as this! I'm very pleased." He then interviewed me and was probably less pleased as I rambled on for hours about the joys of sploshing. Well, they wanted me to sound "proud".

The hardest part for me (no innuendo, please) was their insistence on doing some 'profile shots'. These were moody bits where each of us had to stand staring straight into the camera for about two minutes, not moving or saying anything. For once I appreciated how hard conventional modelling is! My mind kept drifting and I'd start to look away. It wasn't helped by the fact that some of these shots were done on the beach in a howling gale with a group of local builders cheering us on - well, cheering Katie and Dolly on. The girls managed to concentrate fine. I was the problem. Still it got done.

Like I say by the time the girls had got showered and I'd done my interview, we were all tired but buzzing. Time for a drink (for Dolly and me, at least!). But first as we said goodbye, we asked David what he was working on next.

"I'm on holiday for a fortnight, then I start work on Dancing on Ice with Holly Willoughby," he replied.

Suddenly my befuddled brain (and maybe a few parts lower down) woke up.

"Really?" I said. "You know she is a bit of a sploshing icon - getting gunged most weeks on Ministry of Mayhem and pied dressed as a french maid?"

"No, I didn't!" David laughed. "I'll tell her!"

Perhaps she'll join the forum!

(Many more pictures from this film will be on the forum shortly.)

Anyone casually picking up a copy of Love It magazine in March may have spotted a familiar face - albeit smeared in chocolate! Gilly's Silly House star Hydee (that's her on the left) appeared in a feature about the sexual joys of the sweet brown stuff

Hydee who appears under the name Julia (a promotions executive from Brighton!) agreed to do it cos they told her she could take a bath in smooth liquid chocolate in the photos....

"It was a bit disappointing," Hydee told us. "We were expecting to share a big bathtub of the stuff and completely submerge in it. Instead we had to smear it over each other like sticky kids."

Nonetheless, Hydee was happy to share her love of getting messy and some stories of work at the Silly House with Love It's readers who seemed eager to respond. The very next week a housewife wrote in saying how much the idea of rolling in chocolate turned her on. Well, love, you know where to come.

Meanwhile, if Hydee was disappointed with her chocolate coverage at Love It, we were happy to make amends. In Part Two of Snooker Gloopy, the latest film at www.gillysillyhouse.com, snooker player "Hurricane Hydee" gets smothered in gallons of her favourite (and a great deal more) as she attempts to "sink the brown" with co-star (and opponent) Gilly.

"That was much more like it!" she told us afterwards.

Over the last couple of years we have had lots of struggles trying to set up a download area for Splosh! but at last it looks like it's about to happen. For ages we have been trying to bring you scenes which we have filmed in spare moments like 'schoolgirl' Tracy (above) deluged in dozens of different things as she learns her ABC but been thwarted by credit card companies, technology and burocracy.

We had hoped to do it all ourselves but in the end credit card companies who wanted tax returns from our first born, no mentions of bondage or pee anywhere on the site and other Christian fundamentalist morality drove us into the arms of SoundGuy.

We are currently designing the site and I am teaching myself how to use it (a slow process for a man used to chucking pies rather than grappling with FTP) but we hope to have something up an running in the next couple of weeks. We really hope you will like it.

As well as poor Tracy here, there will be a lot of previously unseen films, exclusive new material from Clown Julie, DD, Candy Custard, and Sammy-Jane (to name a few), photo-stories from MessClub7 and a lot, lot more.

Let's just hope it all works and we can brighten up this credit squeezed summer with some seriously over-the-top sploshing!

You may not recognise her under the shaving foam and baked beans but this is Silly House favourite Katie (in her latest adventure there out this week). And it turns out she's not just a favourite of ours, but one of international best selling magazine FHM. Katie has been chosen as one of the Top Ten Hot Honeys (out of thousands who applied) to compete for the title of FHM Honey of 2008. And you can (and should) vote for her right away!

....she just loves getting messy and is a fantastically good sport. As well as appearing with Gilly on Graham Norton, she has been stuck in the stocks, pelted with pies, covered in chocolate, spanked - and this week pelted with even more pies, custard, baked beans and (next week) deluged with five different flavours of thick cake mix gunge! A real trooper! So if anyone deserves to get the £30,000 prize it's her - not some airhead model who'll blow it all on one designer handbag.

So vote for her now.

Simply go to www.fhm.com/honeys/katiegreen and vote for her there or you can text your vote by sending Honey Katie (with a space between the two) to 86145. Texts cost just 15p each plus your standard network rate (scarcely an Ant & Dec-style rip off).

So how did a pretty, splosh-loving girl get to be noticed by FHM? Well, it might just be her interview technique. Applying for the Hot Honey contest she was granted an interview after being asked on her application form to describe herself in three words. Naturally, she ignored 'bubbly', 'beautiful', 'caring', 'loyal' etc and went for 'slim, sexy and psychotic'! And got in. Then at the interview itself when they tried to catch her out with one of those silly questions - in this case "How would you dispose of a dead body?" - instead of clamming up, she smiled sweetly and said, "First I'd chop it up then feed it to the pigs. Then I'd kill the pigs and make you eat the the evidence through the medium of bacon buttiess!" Not your average model's reply.

We love her - and you will too in the next two weeks updates at www.gillysillyhouse.com - so get voting. Otherwise, remember, she knows how to dispose of your remains!

A couple of people have asked me to recall my days working for Paul Raymond and any memories I have of the man himself. Although I had been freelancing for his magazines for many years, I didn't actually meet him till Christmas 1990. The venue was the Windmill Theatre and the event the Xmas party for those who worked on his magazines.

Our initial meeting wasn't great. He has just bought Mayfair from Ken Bound for which I had worked for some years and asked me what I had done for them. Proudly I pointed to the Christmas issue which had several serious features I'd done including one about the history of slot machines.

"Yes, I remember that!" he said after my third attempt to overcome his notorious deafness. I beamed proudly. "Well, we won't be having any of that sort of stuff from now on!"

And he was true to his word.

Paul was a firm believer in the 'amuse and amaze on every page' maxim of Kelvin McKenzie only he applied it to tits. There had to be tits on every spread of the magazine otherwise it would be rejected. All those old school features so beloved of the 70s and 80s Mayfair were out. Car features were just about okay so long as they shared the space with some curvier female bodywork, and in the end even they went. I admitted defeat.

Back at the party, after such an inauspicious start, and fortified by the limited stocks of free booze, I tried again. I knew that PR had, many years previously, been a magician and mindreader touring the country with a female partner. So I asked him if he had ever played the Windmill - on the famous stage of which we were now standing.

"Oh God no!" he spluttered. "We were never good enough." I was about to compliment him on his modesty when he added. "Fucking good thing too. If I'd been half good, I'd still be doing it. Instead I bought the theatre!"

And so, realising he was a rubbish conjuror, he gave up and invested in theatres and became an impressario - first at the Whitehall (where shows included a nude Fiona Richmond swimming in a fish tank) and then the Revue Bar. Then when the money came in, he bought all the buildings in between and became EXTREMELY rich.

Mind you, as I said, that never showed in his lavishness. In the late 80s I got taken to the Revue Bar which still had the flock wallpaper decor from the 70s and frankly looked rather like a living museum of smut. Going for a piss, I was surprised to see that all the men's urinals were different shapes and sizes and some different colours. Knowing the man who helped run the place, I asked him whether this was some kind of nuance of design.

"Oh no," he replied. "It's just Mr Raymond insists if any of the toilets get broken we have to replace them with one from another of his properties. He won't buy new ones. So they don't match!"

Likewise his anti-drug measures also lacked a certain class. Shortly after a well known chat show host (who I won't name cos he has been very nice about Splosh!) was spotted snorting cocaine in one of the cubicles making him run out so quickly he left his gear behind (ta very much!), PR insisted that this must be stopped. Did he employ staff or install coloured lighting? No. He just took the lids off the cisterns and the bowls so you could no longer snort off them.

But PR was a wonderful eccentric. He kept his long dyed orange hair well into his 70s and combed it over so absurdly his head looked like a pedal bin with a fluffy cover.He had a stammer and a hearing aid but he was immaculately dressed at all times, with a chauffeur and a Rolls and a presence that everyone in Soho admired - even if his rents were notoriously high (he famously bankrupted the new owners of the Revue Bar by increasing their rent so much they could no longer afford to run it!). He was in short a real 60s-style rogue who got away with it - to the tune, it's claimed, of £670 million. Yet, by the end, robbed of his beloved daughter Debbie - the only family member interested in his empire (she died of a drugs overdose which many claim was deliberate as she was also ill - and enough of a regular drinker and drugtaker to know how far to go) - he became a recluse and let his business be run by the accountants and lawyers whilst he stayed in his flat lonely to the end.

I can't claim I know anything about exactly how large his estate will be (though it will be keenly fought over) but I do know that his empre was so large he was prone to losing track of it. Charles, his chauffeur when I was there, told me a nice story about one night out he'd had. Waking up, a bit groggy, PR checked his bank statement and noticed that it was down to the tune of several hundred thousand pounds. Immediately, he rang Charles.

"Last night, was I robbed?" he stammered.

"No, sir."

"Did we go to the casino?"

"No, sir."

"Well, why have I lost half a million quid?"

Charles sighed.

"You remember, sir, that we were going to your favourite restaurant..."

"Yes..."

"And when we got there, the NCP car park next door was full so we couldn't park nearby?"

"Yes, so what?"

"Well, you bought it!"

Paul Raymond, a true Soho character, will be much missed by many and not nearly appreciated enough by far more,

You know there are going to be big things in front of you when you invite 36FF Decadent Doll down to meet 'new tits on the block' 36HH Candy Custard and film two sessions with them. And what a riotous couple of days it turned out to be. As well as being deluged with dozens of pies, gallons of gunge, litres of custard and tons of treacle, they also got very pissed, had a marriage proposal from a total stranger, gave a poledancing lesson to one of the locals and ate ice cream after paddling on the beach - in February!

before hitting some of Hastings top designer shops (like the local angling emporium cos they liked the name,

and Substance, a shop that sells a combination of 'smoking requisites' and sex aids so is known locally as the Dong & Bong). Then full of rubbish seaside food they came to the studio to play with a lot more!

We managed to shoot two films with them. The first was based on the famous old song Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better, with the girls boasting abut just how messy or rude they could be and trying to outdo each other. A lot of pies, eggs, custard, chocolate sauce, cake mix and treacle covered every inch of their spectacular curves and by the end - at absolutely no insistance from me - they were kissing and licking each other's tits, fondling their own and their opponent's fannies and getting stuck into some serious mucky minge munching. The breathing made it obvious to even the most cynical splosh film maker that these girls were doing it for real and loving what they were getting up to. Anything You Can Do will be a download on this site soon, but before then we will be running stills from it to let you know what a horny time you are in for.

The second movie was for Gilly's Silly House (www.gillysillyhouse.com) and should be available for members to download this weekend. It's a two part adventure starring DD in her famous Alice role and Candy as the Queen of Hearts. Just as the story goes, she had made some tarts and it isn't long before the dumplinged duo are indulging in a tit-for-tat pie fight washed down with plenty of custard.

That will be Part One which will be at the Silly House this weekend - look out for more pictures from it on the Forum then.

But in Part Two the action gets a lot hotter as the chocolate, cake mix and treacle come out. Again with no direction from me our girls were plunging their faces between each other's enormous knockers, playing with each other's sticky pussies and taking it in turns to bury their heads between their new mucker's thighs! It is very steamy stuff as these shots show. More to follow on the Forum next week.

Again, the breathing gives away just how genuine all this is. These girls are both REAL SPLOSHERS.

Finally we hit the pub, and still fired by adrenalin and in the girls' cases a lot of sexual energy the drink flowed. In Candy's case it was in the form of double vodka and cokes whilst Dolly and I stuck to a more moderate singles knowing we weren't going anywhere for a long while. Thanks to the rate they were going down, the money being pumped into the juke box to keep the cheesy music going and the boss being away, Shane (our favourite barman) kept us locked in till after 4am! By this time the girls had entertained local pissheads like Masonic Jim and John the Alice Cooper fan and been approached by an over amorous gentleman from the Czech republic. Spotting Candy's considerable cuddle buckets, he came over and said, "I luurrvvve your cleave-arge. Please be my partner!" When she turned him down (and we asked him to talk to someone else) he muttered something about us all being racists and disappeared forgotten into the night.

Less easily forgotten is the moment we left Candy alone with Jason our local garage proprietor. Dolly and I were chatting at the bar when we turned round and saw she was giving him a pole dancing demo! Then, just to prove what he had learned, Jason returned the compliment, stripping off his shirt and dancing for her! Well, it was 3am by then!

At 4.30, even Shane had had enough of our antics and I dropped CC and DD at the B&B where amazingly they made it up for breakfast at 8.30 (I didn't even make lunch!). However, their Full Englishes went pretty well untouched...

"You didn't do very well, did you?" said Pat the owner.

How wrong you are, Pat. They did VERY WELL and when all of you see the Silly House videos and the Splosh! one later on, you'll be bound to agree. Meanwhile, I'm off to a rest home to recover.

Sandi was a guest on the same Graham Norton Show where Gilly and a bunch of her girlfriends demonstrated sploshing on the programme last year. And although she seems somewhat disgusted by the contents of our fine magazine, she actually took it all with good grace, though I can't see her rushing to take part!

Other guests on our show included rock singer Alice Cooper, a bit of an icon for me in my teenage days, and I am delghted to say I now have his autograph. He seemed somewhat more amused by sploshing than Ms Toksvig.

And although he may not remember it, this is not the first time Graham Norton has encountered our magazine. Many years ago before he was a Five Million Pound Celebrity, he hosted a late night show on ITV called Carnal Knowledge where couples were quizzed on what they knew abut sex. One round featured was a sort of "What's My Line" with a mystery guest miming his occupation and the couples having to guess what they did for a living. Well, one week it was me! I duly mimed making up custard pies and let them try and guess my bizarre job but nobody got close. I was then allowed to plug the magazine weith Graham for three minutes during which time he moaned about the cover price but held the magazine up to the camera so I didn't complain.

Less enjoyable was the run up to the show. As I was a 'mystery guest', I wasn't allowed to join all the others in 'hospitality'. Instead I was locked in a small room the size of a cupboard and given a crate of Becks to work my way through! Since the show ran rather late, the Becks ran out before I did, but I was certainly 'chatty'. In fact I remember them telling me off for not giving yes and no answers to the cntestant' questions but full sentences - and more!

Carnal Knowledge still gets shown occasionally on Challenge TV and the like, and as well as launching Graham Norton ( a dubious merit), it also put me back in touch with an old school girlfriend who I hadn't seen for 20 odd years. She saw the show and e-mailed me with the line, "Congratulations on the magazine - shame about the baldness. Do get in touch." We have been ever since and not only has she had a messy session in the studio, but now has a framed copy of Splosh! No 35 in her bathroom!

You see, sploshers are everywhere...

She looks wide awake here sploshing Gilly in her role as Fairy Blogmother in the half-hour film Gillyrella available at the Silly House now (www.gillysillyhouse.com) but that wasn't so true an hour before this picture was taken!

We had completely forgotten that this was Hydee's first experience of being covered in anything other than shaving foam - and during the film she gets deluged in several buckets of bright coloured sponge mix. How did she find it?

She loved it!

"I loved the cake mix!" she enthused. "It tastes lovely. Much nicer than shaving foam!"

Well, now we know, Hydee, there'll be plenty more to come! If you can keep awake long enough!

Well done to Emily, the latest journo to be brave enough to come to Splosh! studios and get messy. Emily has a regular feature in Scarlet (a woman's magazine) where she tries out new and sexy things and was very keen to write an article about us, so long as she could get messy.

Dressed in a very nice PVC dress (her own), we sat Emily in the now notorious inflatable chair and let her have it! Her first ever pie in the face was greeted with gales of laughter and even the chilly custard shampoo had her giggling like a schoolgirl.

Whilst her photographer Danny clicked away, a good old fashioned food fight broke out between Dolly and Emily - and all idea of directing them went out of the window. Emily got the ginger cake mix and the maple syrup whilst Dolly took more pies, but it was the custard that the Divine Miss M seemed to like the most.

At the end, of course DD and Emily were the best of messy friends and Dolly even let Emily use the shower first - which like a born splosher she did with her clothes on!

Then came the final surprise! Danny the photographer insisted on being pied as well - even though he had no spare clothes. Of course Emily and DD were happy to oblige, and we hope to have a pic of that when the feature comes out in a month or so. He went home with just his jacket over his bare chest....

By the end, Emily couldn't stop smiling and admitted that it had been a great, fun experience. We look forward to seeing the feature and will tell you when it appears here and on the forum.

It wouldn't be a Bank Holiday without circus clowns and fortunately we have a right pair - and that's just Julie!

Clown Julie and her hubby Charlie (he's the fuller figured one) have filmed an EXCLUSIVE sketch for Gilly's Silly House at www.gillysillyhouse.com, and technical gremlins aside, it should be available to download over the

By the way, the fabulous satin outfit was chosen by YOU the readers of Hayley\s Horny Forum where it narrowly beat a black basque. Who says we're not interactive?

There will be bucket loads of FREE stills from the film on the Forum shortly, so check them out. She really is an amazing lady and can take loads of pies, not to mention bucket after bucket of slosh - oh, and Charlie's alright too.

Sorry we've not posted much here for a month but we had a few technical issues we had to sort out which hopefully Paull the Pooter has resolved for us! So here we go again, guys.