Mess-E-Chat...

As many of you will know, I love having messy chats with people on Instant Messenger. It's fun flirting with men and women and sometimes it can get quite saucy...

This is an early one with Fiona, a 23-year-old from the East Midlands (you can see her pics in the From Sploshers With Love gallery) in which she first came out about her love of getting messy, and how she discovered it...

"FIONA" : Hi Hayley.

Hayley: Hiya! Tell me all about yourself, what you're into etc

"FIONA" : My name's Fiona, I'm 24. My boyfriend got me into wam about 3 or 4 years ago. I liked the sound of it so I tried it. Then when I tried it, I liked it even more.

Hayley: And what do you like doing best?

"FIONA" : Pies mostly.

Hayley: Fun aren't they?

"FIONA": Fun and sexy!

Hayley: Yeah, I like being pied A LOT as well as all the usual food things.

"FIONA": And do you get pied a lot?

Hayley: Try to! How did you react when your bf first suggested it?

"FIONA": He was really nervous about telling me. Had to drag it out of him. I was surprised but I thought it sounded really fun and could be quite sexy. How right I was!

Hayley: Quite. What sort of pies do you use?

"FIONA": We make our own kind. Pie cases filled with custard (a full tin in each) and lots of whipped cream on top. They make such a mess.

Hayley: I know them well! Taste good too!

"FIONA": Is that a favourite of yours as well?

Hayley: Yes, but now I use either Angel Delight or cake mix to make them stodgier. I like the heavy feel as they hit me.

"FIONA": Oh we've tried Angel Delight too. You like them to stick rather than run?

Hayley: I do, yes. I like the build up of mess in my hair!

"FIONA": It's a fine line really. I do like them to stick but I also like them to run a little all over my clothes.

Hayley: Yes, that too! I like a thick pie or 20 followed by custard to wash it down!!

"FIONA": Ohhh yes

Hayley: What do you like to wear?

"FIONA": I have a weakness for wearing uxedos and outfits with ties. And uniforms.

Hayley: Fine...I like uniforms myself.

"FIONA": What uniforms do you wear?

Hayley: I like wearing stiff collars and long sleeves with stiff cuffs.

"FIONA": Oh yes, he likes that too. Buttoned right up.

(Fiona shows Hayley a picture of herself holding a pie)

Hayley: Wow you look like me 20 years ago!

"FIONA ": Hehe, do I?

Hayley: What happened with the pie???

"FIONA": I'll show you. It didn't get eaten That would be a waste.

Hayley: What sort of uniforms do you dress in?

"FIONA": School girl, french maid (the usual)... How about you?

Hayley: I do a mean WPC, nurse, schoolgirl, etc. Have just had a drum majorette outfit made! All brass buttons and blue satin

"FIONA": Ohhh that's a great idea. I love the sound of that.

Hayley: I like gold buttons too God knows why

"FIONA": Is that a fetish?

Hayley: Not sure...but they look so bright before they get messed up Got a maid uniform but it's not my fave, though I love satin...

"FIONA": Satin is definitely my fave for maid outfits.

Hayley: In some ways it's my fave material for mess. I like the feel against my skin But I also like outfits that get heavy. And suits and jackets. But with a tie naturally!

"FIONA": I can understand that. Suits are good. Even better with a tie. You have exquisite taste.

(Hayley shows Fiona a picture of herself in schoolgirl gear)

"FIONA": Wow! You look amazing! So cute and innocent...Although I'm sure you weren't.

Hayley: I admit that it doesn't make me look my age!

"FIONA": Pleated skirt and stocking tops too. I like that.

Hayley: Thanks, we could haave a lot of fun together. Schoolgirlied up for the blokes

"FIONA": Oh yeah, I think so. School girly pie fight.

Hayley: Exactly...with me as head girl and you the cheeky youngster.

"FIONA": Hmmm, you could catch me misbehaving....

(After Fiona sends picture of her dressed as a bunny girl)

Hayley: Sorry, picture with the bunny ears made me laugh!

"FIONA": I'm upset now.

Hayley: Oh, there...big cuddle!

"FIONA": Hehe. I'm not really. I was just after sympathy.

Hayley: You could pie me for it!

"FIONA": You can count on that. Right in your face!

Hayley: Mmmmmpffff! Right you asked fo it!

"FIONA": Nooo! Leave me alone!

Hayley: I have this nice big chocolate cake...And it's going right below those bunny ears! SPLAT!

"FIONA": Mmmmphhhphhhhhhhh *wipes eyes* That was so uncalled for!!

Hayley: Followed by some nice custard ones sandwiching your head!

"FIONA": Aaaaaaahhhh!

Hayley: And a washdown with some raspberry custard

"FIONA": Ohhh, it's all running all over my uniform!!

Hayley: Serves you right

"FIONA": *takes a jug full of syrup, reaches up your little skirt and pulls your knickers open, then empties the whole lot in there*

Hayley: Ohhhhhh! You bitch

"FIONA": *follows that with thick custard over your head*

Hayley: Ulp!

"FIONA": *and plenty down the front of your white blouse*

Hayley: You've made me all sticky...as if your pic hadn'talready! So when are you next getting messy?

"FIONA": I'm not sure but no sooner than next weekend. Actually probably more like 2 weeks. We could have a nice pie fight then.

Hayley: Mmmmm... Reckon my fella would kill to watch that! The two of us pieing each other and then squirming on top of each other!

"FIONA": Ohhh I'd love to be squirmed on!

Hayley: I 'm pretty good with my tongue too, And your nipples coated in custard would be very appealing!

"FIONA": Most women are good with their tongues! More so than men anyway.

Hayley: I'm lucky I have a female friend as well....

"FIONA": Oh really? Lucky you. I could use one of those!

Hayley: She is a bit dom but likes dressing me up

"FIONA": What does she like you to wear?

Hayley: All kinds of things from very girlyto uniforms and a bit of rubber I've always liked dressing up so I don't mind

"FIONA": Rubber and PVC can be quite sexy but not much good for wam. They wipe clean.

Hayley: Custard INSIDE rubber is quite nice

"FIONA": Yeah I imagine that would feel good.

Hayley: That feels very squirmy!

"FIONA": You're really into squirming, aren't you?

Hayley: Anyone ever said you look like Britney?

"FIONA": lol Look who's talking! Actually no, you're Baby Spice.

Hayley: Only..older!!

"FIONA": How old are you?

Hayley: I'm 40 now (just)

"FIONA": No...! You look way younger You look more like 30.

Hayley: I have good skin which helps. I've always looked young. Couldn't get into pubs till I was well into my 20s. I think that's why Debs likes dressing me. I'm like her doll

"FIONA": I'd love to dress you.

Hayley: She also likes sex toys!

"FIONA": I'd make you wear bunny ears to get my own back!

Hayley: Fair point. Big Pie to you right in your cute little face! So how would you dress me?

"FIONA": Maybe in a tuxedo.

Hayley: I like those officer's mess jackets - white with the gold buttons

"FIONA": Oh yeah. I don't have one but that would look good on you.

Hayley: Then having to stand to attention whilst you pied me repeatedly!

"FIONA": Yeah... you're not allowed to move a muscle.

Hayley: Exactly...and you can do whatever you like to me!

"FIONA": Not until I've pelted you with 50 pies.

Hayley: Nice and hard!

"FIONA": And poured all gooey things all over you.

Hayley: Ooohhhh getting squirmy again!

"FIONA": You are making me so horny!

Hayley: Me too.

"FIONA": I'd also like to dress you as a school girl after seeing your pics.

Hayley: Thanks...We'd make good schoolies together

"FIONA": Definitely. We could snog behind the bike sheds.

Hayley: Now that would be horny. How about one big lipsticky snog before bed!

"FIONA": Pie in your face first....SPLAT!!! Now snog

Hayley: And you SPLAT MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

"FIONA": Mmmm messy snog !

Hayley: Told you I was good with my tongue!!

"FIONA": Yeah you are!

Hayley: Oooh I'm quite moist now! See what you've done! Nighty night, you naughty young thing!

"FIONA": hehe Night xxxx

Hayley: xxxxx