Hi guys,

I thought it was about time I confessed to a messy experience from my past. This is a totally true story and goes back to my days as a rather raunchy 18-year-old living in Hampshire.

You see, as my parents loved telling everyone, when I was 17, I "went off the rails". That is to say I left school and decided to have a bit of fun instead. And fun at that time included a lot of unsuitable fellas. I had no trouble finding a bloke then. Not surrisingly! Big-haired, blue-eyed blondes with a fondness for skintight jeans and six inch stillettos were rather thin on the ground in the country area where I lived. And not only was I that, but I LOVED flirting, especially after a few scotch and cokes.

Yup, it got me into a lot of trouble - usually of the hand-inside-my-panties, snogging-in-the-alley kind - but one time I landed in the shit, for real!

It was summer and I was in my favourite pub chatting up anyone who caught my eye when I happened on four gorgeous blokes with muscles the size of loaves of bread. They were young farmers and whilst they obviously appreciated the sight of my pert butt and boobs in stretch denim, they rightly recognised that my Levis had never seen any serious work in their lives (frankly, I had to lie down to get them on, so bending alone would have split them the length of my crack). However I was determined they wouldn't think of me as the soft towny tart I obviously was (and still am!!) so well whiskied up I started bullshitting about being a farm girl at heart.I must have been pissed because I suddenly heard this voice accepting the bet that I could wash and scrub Mick's prime boar, Wilberforce, in his sty ready for the local show. The voice was mine, and the bet was for £30 (worth around £30,000 in today's money!!). Why did I agree? Well, yes, I was pissed as a newt, but it meant being with these hunky blokes for a whole afternoon. Well, worth scrubbing some titchy little pig for!

As I left the pub, making sure each of the guys had been given a nice long lipsticky snog to remember me by, I can still hear them laughing amongst themselves as they shouted, "See you Saturday!" It never occurred to me that they were taking the piss and I would spend the afternoon face down in pig shit and worse!

Come Saturday and again my clothing was chosen to get those farm hands' glands stiffening rather than any serious work. I had just bought a brand new pair of brilliant white cotton jeans that didn't so much hug my bottom as suffocate it! It matched my white cotton jean jacket perfectly and what better than a tight white teeshirt and no bra to give the guys a bit of a thrill. Okay, I thought, they may get splashed a bit but only with warm soapy water (oh, I was so wrong!) and they made my arse look gorgeous! Right, so the white four inch court shoes were a mistake, but I didn't have any flat ones. And naturally, I had plastered on the make-up as I did in those days (and still do now!!) with enough bright red lippy to repaint a Routemaster bus.

When I turned up at the farm, the guys cheered. Naturally I put this down to my sensational outfit and the glimpses of my breeze-stiffened nipples under the jacket. There were a lot more of them than I remembered - mainly because the guys in the pub had invited all their mates to see the action. I didn't give a fuck. All the more to flirt with!! Still I was surprised at the turn-out. All this to see a blonde 18-year-old bathe a little old pig, they must be sad! Little did I know! Andy, the guy I fancied most, handed me a bucket of soapy water and a brush and led me to Wilberforce's sty.

I couldn't believe my eyes!

For a start Wilberforce was not the cute Babe-size beast I'd imagined but almost came up to my waist and weighed half a ton. Secondly, his sty, which I thought would be firm underfoot with a soft layer of clean straw was fully 18 inches deep in thick black pig shit. The crowd roared with laughter when they saw my perfectly made-up mouth drop open - not surprisingly, they had spend most of the previous day collecting the crap from the other pig pens and shovelling it into this one to make my task more "fun". They had even hosed it down to ensure a squelchy consistency and a smell that filled my nostrils from yards away. In the middle of the pen, buried up to his balls in pig muck was Wilberforce, black with crap from the tip of his twirly tail to his runny snout, "Off you go, Hayley!" laughed Andy, the others joining in and jeering.

Well, I may be a towny tart but there's one thing I can't stand and that's people taking the piss. I just had to go for it. Besides, thirty quid bought a lot of scotch and coke in those days! I opened the sty and stepped inside. Almost immediately my white court shoe disappeared into the thick reeking black muck and I felt cool wet mud seep inside soaking my white pop socks. I grimaced a bit but the sight of these guys' faces expecting me to run a mile at the thought of a little mud spurred me on. As my other foot disappeared, there was a loud sucking sound and I lost my first shoe to the shit. The black stuff was caressing my leg up to the knee now, the tight white jeans wet and stained. "Here, piggy, piggy!" I chanted, hoping Wilberforce would come to me so I wouldn't have to move any further. He did. The sound of my high pitched voice sent him bounding towards me.

"Woa! Woa!" I cried but in vain.

SPLAT!

Unknown to me Wilberforce was immediately behind me and at that point stuck his revolting runny snout between my legs and pushed me head first into the pig shit. My face disappeared deep into the disgustingly smelly muck. I can remember the feel of it engulfing me even now and the smell that rose straight up my nostrils. As I lifted my shit-covered features from the muck (another big laugh!), my hair now plastered at the front as well, I realised that my tits and crotch were now coated with pig shit too. I wiped my eyes best I could with my clogged hands (oh my poor painted nails!), and sat up in the sludge. Seeing my nipples poking out again, I gave the guys a bit of a thrill my smoothing the muck-soaked teeshirt over my tits, and wobbling them a bit for the lads. A cheer went up. A warm feeling started up in the deep recesses of my cold wet pussy.

"See, Hayley, it isn't as easy as it looks is it?" laughed Andy, wading into the sty in his boots to give me a hand out. "But we'll give you the money anyway, won't we?" The crowd cheered again and one or two even started taking photos. But I hadn't finished yet! Whether it was the news that I was thirty quid richer, the thought that my outfit was ruined anyway or sheer revenge, but as Andy reached down to over me a hand out of the black mud, I tripped him and pulled him down, so he landed with a loud splat right next to me. He wasn't expecting that, and he didn't much like the huge roar of laughter it got from his mates. But I did. I immediately climbed on top of him and started rubbing handfuls of pig shit into his chest, squirming around like a mud-covered eel.

But my advantage didn't last long! He was much stronger than me and he just pushed me off, so it was my turn to land on my arse in the crap again.

"Oh, you want to play games, do you?" he said, sitting aside me as I lay on my back, "Well, what say I give that nice blonde hair of yours a shit shampoo?"

"NO!" I cried. "it was just a -"

Too late. Andy only liked jokes when he was dishing them out and suddenly his huge hands were splattering enormous wet lumps of reeking pig shit into my long hair, rubbing it in then adding some more over and over until it felt like one wet mass on the top of my head.

"How 'bout a full make-up job as well?" he bellowed to the laughing crowd. "What do you reckon, eh?"

"Yeah!" his mates responded in unison. And suddenly I felt handful after handful of reeking pig shit being plastered onto my face, pushed up my nose, in my ears and, when I tried to protest, right in my mouth. All I could smell and taste was pig shit, and still he kept plastering more and more over my face till I couldn't breathe. What's more I could neither see nor hear but I could feel his cock growing against my sodden jeans - and I could kick! I raised my knee and hit him square in the balls forcing him to roll over in agony. I wiped the shit from my eyes, spat and scrambled up raising my arms in a boxing style victory salute to a massive cheer from the crowd.

I was jumping up and down, my bra-less boobs bobbing beneath the wet, muck-soaked teeshirt, offering to kiss everyone (some turned this down, not surprisingly). But it seems Andy was a sore loser. Scrambling to his feet behind me, he grabbed a length of rope hanging from the fence and suddenly grabbed my arms and bound them behind my back. This seemed a bit unfair, especially when he tripped me, so I fell face first into the shit again and he sat on my butt tying my ankles together as well.

"That should stop you from kicking!" he grinned then swivelled round to push my face back into a particularly deep pile of poo, rubbing it in, then piling more over my head so I was completely deaf and blind and almost suffocating in the stuff. Just when I thought I might pass out, he let my head up and I spat a lump of muck from my mouth in time for him to turn to my bottom. Ripping at the waist band, he started shovelling wet pig muck inside my jeans rubbing it right into my ass crack and pussy, his shitty fingers right between my lips.

"Hey, you enjoying that, Hayley?" he bellowed with an evil laugh. I didn't want to disappoint him, but much to my surprise, I was! The warm stench of the muck had grown rather pleasing now and the feeling of my wet, reeking clothes against my body was making me tingle all over. And as for his mucky hands on my crack...I was getting pretty fucking breathless. It might have been brutal but, if I'm honest, if he'd fucked me right there and then in that pig pen whilst all his mate's cheered, I would have loved it! But he had another idea...

Giving me a good spank on the arse to ruin my reverie, he stood up and literally slung me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Tied as I was, and halfway to orgasm, there was very little I could do, and besides I was really interested to know what would become of me next (I know this sounds irresponsible, but remember I was being watched by half the farmers in the village and whilst they might like to make out they're hard men, they know where fun stops and serious crime begins!). My face caked in crap I couldn't really see where they were taking me, but suddenly I was gently put back on my bound feet and pushed against a post. More rope then tied me helpless to the pillar, my tits popping out of the ripped teeshirt, my brand new jeans hanging at the top of my thighs exposing a shit-coated cunny.

"Right, Hayley, we got you all messed up," said Andy. "I guess it's only fair we clean you up!"

I was half relieved and half disappointed. I was expecting a gangbang at least! But the titter of nervous laughter gave me a clue that he wasn't being completely honest. My face still covered in thick muck I could only just see him picking up a thick hose and pointing it straight at my face.

"Big smile now, Hayley..." he cackled.

Like a fool I did what he said, opening my mouth in a real "Wha-hey!"

BIG MISTAKE.

The hose gushed and suddenly my mouth and the rest of my face was being flooded with a thick, foul-tasting semi-liquid. The flow was so heavy that it took my breath away causing me to take even more in my once neatly lipsticked gob, then he moved it down to coat the rest of me, inside and outside my jeans and top. With vigorous blinking, one eye cleared enough to see that I was now covered in a wet brown shit that even I recognised as farm slurry. Yes, it stank. It stank worse than the pig shit but for the first time in my life, my pussy was responding to the degradation in the most un-PC way. I found myself arching my back, stretching to feel the disgusting mess gushing over me, revelling in it flowing over my fanny and now bare breasts. I kept wanting to feel it in my face, filling my hair, flooding my mouth. I wanted to be a wasted lump of shit - and despite the constant flood of cold thick crap my cunny was as hot and wet as it had ever been in its young life. God, it wanted a cock but instead, the flow of liquid shit stopped, the rope attaching me to the post was loosened and I fell into a pool of slurry, a disgusting reeking lump that was secretly having an almighty orgasm.

So good was it I could hardly hear the cheers of the crowd. They loved me and when my ears cleared I heard the click of many a cheap camera. Untied, I stood up, laughing almost crying with happiness, wanting to kiss, suck and fuck every one of them. Instead they carried me off and threw me in a mangy old bath full of water, used as refreshment by the cows, and took it in turns to chuck buckets of cold water over me (which I also rather liked) until I was judged clean enough for a proper shower inside.

When I finally emerged, now in my black jeans and top, I not only won the bet but found the guys had held a whip-round for me and raised over 100 quid! Not only that, they all wanted to buy me drinks in the pub that night. All that for discovering a great new way to cum! A bit of a result, I'd say.

And now it's your turn....

No, you can't tie me to a post and hose me down with slurry for 100 quid (well.....not just yet), but someone out there must know someone who saw this happen. Better still, someone must know someone who took some photos. Surely they would still have them? You wouldn't throw away pictures of an 18-year-old blonde bimbo climaxing covered in pig shit, would you? If you were there, if you have some photos of it or if you just want to tell me what you'd do to me in a pig sty full of shit, e-mail me direct at hayley@splosh.co.uk

Love

Hayley xxx