Don't volunteer unless you are prepared to get messy!

With all the talk from the Secret Diary screening of how to make sploshing part of your sex life, how refreshing to see a live show that demonstrates slapstick doing what it does best – being funny!  And yes, it is messy – and yes there are women on the receiving end, and if the audience in Hastings was anything to go by, it could do as much to make your partner want to take part as any drama on ITV2. Circus Hilarious is simply that – hilarious, and if you don’t believe me, ask my clown-hating mate Jenny who loved every minute!

Circus Hilarious is the wet-and-messy brainchild of former Tiswas regular Clive Webb and stars him and his son, Danny, with a cast of clowns, musicians and female dancers (who, I’m delighted to say, join in the slapstick). The show is an incredible mixture of comedy, magic (yes proper big illusions), circus acts, music and dance (thankfully very little) all set on stage in a comfy theatre rather than forcing its audience to endure the hard drafty benches of the big top. And frankly it works very well. Where else can you see classic slapstick routines alongside inflatable Elvis impressions, ball-balancing, an brilliant Titanic piss-take, plenty of Carry-On-style jokes and messy audience involvement that leaves even those not on stage rather damper than when they went in!

The idea is 15-years-old now but thankfully shows no sign of growing up! The two stars are Clive and Danny – Clive as the ringmaster/straightman/magician and Danny the clown (with 100 other circus skills) who tread a clever tightrope  between adult and children’s humour that leaves them loved by both (just watch the Mums swoon over Danny who, beneath the thankfully minimal make-up, is very good looking and buff as fuck!). So expect plenty of innuendo, fart and poo jokes for the kids, knob gags for the grown-ups, and slapstick, oh yes, plenty of slapstick!

Where else can you dress as a Teletubby and get pied and electrocuted?

Welcome back to the wonderful world of political incorrectness where dancers with short skirts are likely to get foam squirted down their cleavage or sprayed up their short skirts. Where the audience is invited on stage to be given electric shocks from their stools and then pied – whilst dressed as teletubbies! Where pianos explode, old men fart from fake bare bums, and our inflatable Elvis (Danny again) falls off stage, can’t get up in his costume so runs off into the audience in his underpants. It’s as close as you’ll get to Tiswas live – but with all the skill of the circus. This IS what they want. And a Hastings audience on a wet, windy Tuesday afternoon in February loved every minute!

Clive & Danny do one of the messiest decorating scenes ever

I first saw Circus Hilarious with Hayley a few years ago also at the White Rock Theatre in Hastings. The cast was smaller then but, boy, was it memorable. The pretty female singer was pied within the first minute and the first half closed with the messiest decorating scene I’ve ever witnessed. Slosh and water wasn’t just poured it was thrown around the stage (and over the audience!) leaving almost everyone and everything splattered. One woman’s day was made when Danny ran into the audience to give her a messy hug – and Hayley sulked cos it wasn’t her!

"It should have been me!" Hayley sulked when an audience member got hugged.

The current show isn’t quite as messy as this but it is slicker and funnier. The audience still gets involved whether they want to or not! You can volunteer for the teletubby routine where everyone who takes part gets a pie  - and the female volunteer gets six! Or you can stay in your seat and find yourself being squirted with super soakers and drenched (well dampened) by buckets of water thrown from the stage.

Being a singer with Circus Hilarious requires tolerance...

But perhaps the best mess in the current run is reserved for the female singer in the Titanic routine. In a short, low-cut dress, the pretty blonde gamely sings that Celine Dion theme from the film whilst being first attacked with a snow blower full of tissue,

...a fondness for water...

then squirted in the face, boobs and up the skirt with a Supersoaker and then getting the same treatment  with spray foam bringing back memories of that famous Freddie Starr sketch in the 70s.

...and the ability to sing whilst sprayed with foam.

As if that isn’t indignity enough, she is then treated to a blast of compressed air right between the legs! Not only did the game girl in our show keep singing despite her sploshing she even found time to fix the radio mike at the same time! Now, that’s a trooper!

Celine Dion never had this problem!

You can also enjoy other classic slapstick/knockabout sketches as Norman Wisdom’s “Learning the Drums” routine, Charlie Drake’s plate factory sketch (recently revived by Cannon & Ball but done better here) and a surreal boxing skit that was probably the only bit in my first visit that didn’t quite work. With pantos cutting back on slapstick, where else can you see brilliantly crafted routines like that these days? We should do everything we can to keep them alive.

So get off your arse (and the internet) and go! Circus Hilarious’s dates for this year include..

27th Feb: Bedworth Civic Hall

28thFeb: Grand Theatre, Lancaster

21st Mar: Theatre Royal, St Helens

27th Mar The Muni, Colne

29th Mar: Solway Civic Theatre, Whitehaven

2nd Apr-7th Apr  Hippodrome,  Gt Yarmouth

8th Apr: Woodville Hals, Gravesend

9th Apr: Broadway Theatre, Catford

24th Apr:  Theatre Royal, Newcastle

2nd & 3rd May: Pavillion Theatre, Worthing

And occasionally they do an even bigger, messier version of their act in circuses, clips from which can be seen in their two DVDs on sale at their gigs (and with no theatre upholstery to worry about, the audience really do cop it there!).

Hat's entertainment!

Sorry if this review has gone on a bit, but shows like this deserve all the publicity they can get. Your kids will love it and so will you. Jenny has become such a fan she quotes the jokes and catchphrases all the time and has joined their Facebook site (despite being sung to by Clive and insulted – “Hey, you picked an ugly one!” – by Danny) – and Hayley would run away on tour with them if she could! And we are not alone. On their website (www.circushilarious.co.uk) there is a guest book where audience members can leave comments on the show. One is from a 21-year-old couple who saw the show (and loved it) at the Grand in Wolverhampton on the Sunday before the show came to Hastings.  It was their Valentine’s Day present to each other!

For sharing a love of slapstick with your partner, Billie Piper’s scene will have to go a long way to beat that!

Related posts:

1. Who’s a Silly Billie?
2. Clown Julie’s Bank Holiday Slosh Fest!

Sarah's First Gunging

Phew! Well, we’ve just about cleared up after what was undoubtedly our biggest ever private session. Over 150 pies, 36 litres of custard and nine full buckets of thick cake mix (all pastel colours – no red or brown we were told) were thrown at and over three girls – one of them completely new to messy modelling! Yes, it was quite a baptism, but as you can see, we didn’t let her off lightly!

Charlie, Sarah and Lily S learn what's in store

The three lovely girls were Charlie and Sarah from Essex and Lily S who had travelled from Derby for the day. Charlie had worked with Gungegirls in the past and although newly pregnant was only too happy to cross the Thames for this spectacular session. Lily was equally enthusiastic, though she normally works at home with a webcam. Newcomer Sarah was understandably nervous…but it wasn’t long before she was ‘mucking in’ quite literally.

The pies start to fly...

The excited threesome were to take part in three sketches – that meant three changes of clothes and nine showers as well as the sessions themselves so it was going to be a long afternoon. Fortunately our visitor had carefully scripted the items so the girls could take turns in the shower, otherwise we might have been there all day.

..and Sarah gets the hang of it quickly!

The first sketch was a demonstration of pie throwing to teach Sarah how to throw – and take a pie. Not that she really needed instruction – it was just a good excuse to throw a total of around 70 pies at the girls, a lot ending up in Sarah’s direction. Lots of giggling and no shying away – in fact, in Lily’s case, in the quieter moments she’d happily pie herself.

Sketch two was about covering the girls completely in the 36 litres of custard which they all enjoyed even though the magic yellow liquid varied dramatically in temperature from the boiling hot to the freezing cold! Sarah even obliged us by rolling around in the deep puddle of custard on the floor – an act of extreme bravery beyond the call of duty given the rapidly reducing warmth of the mess.

Then came the finale – a sort of quiz with the girls in their best dresses being pied, pieing each other, and then getting three buckets of gunge each!

Charlie's second bucket of cake mix

Charlie was up first and she and baby happily submitted to the multi-coloured gallons of goo. Then came Sarah. The pies and custard had warmed her up and she was ony too happy to sit under the three torrents of thick heavy cake mix…

Sarah feels in the pink at her gunge debut

First  orange was poured over her, then pink and finally a bucket of green gunge was thrown at her and the rest poured over her head…

Sarah finds our studio comes with food thrown in...

But rather than run away, Sarah sat taking the lot only to be decorated with the remains of the custard by Lily for her troubles. A great trooper, and probably the most messy debut by any sploshing model. So big respect!

Lily S - quiet at last!

Not that Lily had much time to be cocky about giving poor Sarah the cold custard treatment! The chatty, giggly home splosher was soon silenced by a gallon of yellow cake mix followed closely by pink…

She'll get you back for this - and she did!

and then green…

Only when our guest rewarded her brief period of quietude with the last few remaining pies in her face did she return to her normal noisy self. Lily pulled him down into deep lake of cake and custard, made him lie on his back and then buried him in everything she could find – ending up triumphantly standing with one foot on his prostrate form (hidden deep beneath a mucky mountain of mess and paper plates).

It was a fine finish to a fun afternoon – even though the showering went on well into the evening and the clearing up filled the weekend! Lily, Sarah and Charlie were all excellent. They laughed, chatted and squealed but never once protested – even though messy sessions in mid-January are never the most comfortable. Many thanks to them, and to our annual guest who always introduces us to interesting people.

See you again next year – and, we hope, we’ll see the girls a lot sooner than that!

Related posts:

1. More Stills from Our Messiest Session
2. Who’s a Silly Billie?
3. CC meets DD in Sploshworld

First, I had to make up the pies. Since several people have asked, I used Erasmic shaving cream dyed yellow with food colouring for the main part of the pie. The best way to do this is empty about three cans in a big bucket, add the dye and whisk it till it’s an even colour. Then I plated them up (as those chefs on telly say) and decorated with cheap white shaving foam. The Erasmic is so thick it is as good as real whipped cream and the white foam made them look delicious!
Next I slipped into my outfit. I saw it on Ebay a few weeks back and liked it because it was a lot fuller than many cheap maid’s dresses with more decoration. I am not really a girly girl when it comes to clothing (frills and lingerie aren’t really me) but if I was going to do that, I wanted to do it properly. And once I’d got the stockings and suspenders on I admit I was beginning to really feel the part. I even started walking in that french ‘ooh la la’ floozy way! What’s more, I automatically started slipping into Clown Julie-style facial expressions! It must be something to do with the frills tickling my fanny!

As has become by custom on these sets, I took the photos myself The camera was set up on a tripod with some pictures to be shot on the timer, others in a sequence. The pies looked so good I couldn’t wait to get on with it, and although I managed a few pre-mess shots (which worked unlike the gunge set) I really just wanted to feel those pies in my face. So no surprise then that after a trial single pie (to check the camera was working) my first real shot was a nice deep pie sandwich right in the kisser!

This felt fantastic (it is one of my favourite moves). The only disappointment was having to wipe it off my face so I could see to set the camera up for the next sequence. Fortunately there were plenty more pies to come!!

As well as the dozen or so pies I had made, I had also bought several litres of ready-made custard. I was determined to make this set a bit classier than some of Bill’s (did you notice the tablecloth?) so was keen to put the custard (warmed in the airing cupboard overnight) into a jug. Unfortunately, I discovered that the biggest jug I had in the house was a tiny Pyrex one!! This was a bit of a pain as I had to keep filling it up (it took two jugs to fill my cleavage alone – hehe no pun intended!). But the warm custard felt so nice it was worth the effort. In fact, by the end I’d poured custard down my cleavage, in my knicks (front and back) even inside my stockings! I can still remember how good it was!

By the end I was (as usual!) on the floor plastering myself with everything I had left. Several full face pies, more custard, an ill-conceived attempt at pouring custard over my head and pieing myself simultaneously (not possible, so edited out!). I love this bit. I can be as silly as I want and stop being the well behaved, smart PA I have to be during the week.

The only snag is trying to concentrate on photos when my pussy is aching for my fingers to push its buttons rather than the cameras. Fanny or Fuji? Tough call… As a result I was disappointed at how many of the shots came out blurred (especially my attempts at body close-ups) so they have been left out of even the full set. Even so I managed 90 good ones, and much more importantly had a fantastic time!

I hope you like them. Being impatient I put one or two photos up on my Fetlife page and a couple of members have been very nice about them. I think some of BDSM crowd think I’m mad and sometimes doing these solo sets seems odd even to me. But I love the spontaneity of them, doing what I want when I want without somebody directing me. I hope the $5 charge for the last two sets in full doesn’t make me appear ‘professional’ cos I’m so not and never want to be. Any money (and I am not expecting much as you can see many of the shots free at The Free House) will be ring-fenced, as politicians say, to go toward costumes and gunge! I don’t want to make a profit, I just want my sets to get bigger, better and messier without having to sell my house!!! And there will always be a free version of anything I do available as well on Channel Free.
You see, now I’ve started getting messy again I want to carry on for ever!

Related posts:

1. Hayley’s Slime Time
2. Messi-Lee Does It
3. CC meets DD in Sploshworld

As I mentioned earlier in the bit you probably won’t read, Sammy-Jane came down on Thursday for a private session. Yes, we still offer private sessions when we can fit them around our own shoots, and this particular customer has been coming for years so it’s always a good laugh.
The gentleman concerned is one of many sploshers who likes to adopt a female alter ego for his sploshing activities – in this case Stephanie Tart. Steph is tall, usually dark, and today was dressed as a pink polcewoman (due to a uniform mix up at the police station – according to his carefully written scenario). Sam and I like a bit of roleplay in a session so we had great fun (her as the shoplifter WPC Tart was supposed to be interrogating, me as the off-screen Sergeant).
The story went that Sam was trying to destroy the shoplifting evidence by pouring it over the hapless WPC only to discover she’s a man. This makes Sammy even more determined to humiliate her and soon Tart is covered in eggs, custard, rice pudding, jam and pink cake mix, her non-regulation knickers filled with treacle and hair shampooed with chocolate spread. At this unfortunate juncture the Sarge appears and tells the hapless WPC to get her act together and punish the suspect or face the sack, so she repeats the process on Sammy. The scene ends with WPC telling the Sergeant that Sammy has now learned her lesson and will never do it again, only for Sam to dump a bucket of cake mix over her and flee!
Okay, you had to be there…especially as Ms Tart is one of the people who doesn’t like to be photographed or filmed except for his own use. Hence the lack of photos here. This is something we totally respect. We don’t do private sessions to plaster them over the internet. Private means private, unless you (and the model) want to share it.
We also welcome cross dressers, sissies and drag queens to join in the fun. Frankly, we love an excuse to camp it up, so don’t hesitate to drop me a line if are serious about a session.

Related posts:

1. CC meets DD in Sploshworld
2. Our Messiest Private Session Yet!
3. Virgin on the Ridiculous

Things did not start well! First of all the white nurse’s uniform I ordered from Ebay claiming to be a size 12 turned out to be more like a large 14 so slipping into it I was disappointed that it wasn’t a bit tighter round the waist and boobs. Now I like ‘full’ clothes for getting messy in (can’t be doing with skimpy outfits, I like the feel of wet, heavy fabric against my skin) but even so I felt this looked a bit baggy. But if nothing else it was a realistic uniform not the Ann Summers variety, though the stockings are strictly non-NHS.
So I did the best I could with it, tightened the belt round my waist and went into the garden to put my dustsheet down. Oh No! Disappointment No 2. My neighbour who is about 105 and a total recluse had suddenly decided to hold a garden party! The old sod never sees a soul – now there were about 20 people next door eating and drinking (if you’ve seen my wet pictures on the Free House you will have seen his knackered umbrella poking above the fence – well today it was open for the first time this century!). As soon as they saw me they smiled and waved, and I think I heard someone say to my neighbour how handy it must be having a nurse live next door. I was tempted to give them a flash of my stocking tops but they were all quite old – I didn’t want to cause any fatalities.
So, now, despite a lovely warm sunny day, I was going to have to do my three gallon gunging indoors! This presented two problems. Firstly where? and secondly would the camera be able to do what I wanted in flash? The first problem was easily sorted. My son has left home now and his spare room is waiting to be redecorated, so I lay my dustsheet down there. The second looked more complicated. I am no camerawoman and it took a while to find out how to take a sequence of pics on timer with flash. I thought I’d set it up right but apparently not. The clean photos were all too rubbish to use. I also discovered that you have to stay a lot stiller for flash pics for some reason. As a result, sorry no pristine uniform pics!

I opted for my bucket of pink slime first! I’d made all the gunge the night before after buying that off Ebay as well (simply look under ‘gunge’ and several people sell it, in some cases ready coloured). You mix it with about four litres of warm water, adding the water slowly and stirring a lot. And I mean a lot. I am glad I hadn’t done it that morning, it was quite tiring. I then left it in the airing cupboard next to my knickers to get warm and for the bubbles to subside so it was nice and smooth.

Even in the unsexy surroundings of my spare bedroom, worrying about the camera, I was getting butterflies in the tummy – that lovely feeling you have when you are about to be naughty. I lifted the bucket and started pouring…mmmmmm! The gunge was great. Blood temperature and thick it flattened my hair and fell over my face. I poured some more. Oooooh now it was running down my dress and without thinking I undid it to allow the slime to slip inside to my – oh! – bra! Damn! I’d forgotten to take it off, and it was a good one too! However, it didn’t prevent my nipples from realising what was going on and responding accordingly – naughty things!

Being translucent, the pink slime meant I could reset the camera without wiping my eyes, but my next colour would be more of a problem! For some reason, the blue slime – this was more of a gunge than a slime – had mixed rather more thickly. So as I went back and poured the first big dollop everything disappeared from view! Suddenly I had no idea where the camera was or when it would flash which made the photography bloody difficult!


The good news was that it felt FANTASTIC. I love that heavy feeling in my hair and over my face so I was beginning to get seriously worked up! I poured more and more, forgetting about the camera completely, rubbing it inside my uniform till my bra was soaked and my boobs superbly slimy. I think you can tell I was beginning to have some real fun now. It’s a good job there’s no sound on this blog – you might be shocked!!

It’ was then the next problem arose… One of the reasons gunge feels good is because it is so slippery. Unfortunate this then makes the floor slippery, especially in stockings and with my hands now slimed up from fondling my messy tits, getting to the camera and setting it up again made me look like Bambi on the ice. So from now on, I decided it was time to do everything on the floor – which had the added advantage of giving my stockings a lovely gooey going-over as well!

It was now the time I was looking forward to most. I love black mess – treacle, oil, you name it and the black gunge (far too heavy to be called slime) had mixed beautifully to a gorgeous glossy mass. Sod the photos – this was going over my head non-stop however shit the pictures!

And that’s exactly what I did!


Wooooooooo! It felt wonderful. My whole head was engulfed in thick black mess. I couldn’t see, could hardly hear or even breathe. It ran down every inch of me and my pussy responded at once. Suddenly I was warm and moist inside and outside my undies. The dress was heavy with three gallons of gloop and hugging my body like a wet bear I just wanted to roll around and frig myself silly, or get the dildo out and fuck myself into a stupour. The only problem was I had no idea where I’d put them and I couldn’t see a thing! Damn, perhaps a man is useful afterall. So instead, after sliding my hand inside the warm, wet confines of my knickers for a little play, I staggered of to find the camera!

Sadly I had to wipe my eyes to set up again but I still had some of the blue gunge left, so I decided it was time to let go and have some fun. I had mastered the camera on auto now, the uniform was feeling warm and wet against my body, so go for it, gal!



I poured the blue goo right over my head and that was enough. Giggling like a cross between a silly little girl and a muck-and-fuck-loving whore (which is exactly what I am!), I rubbed slime into every bit of my body, the slime-sodden clothes held me tight like the arms of of a big messy man – and one that never lets me down! I rolled in the slime, I tried to fuck the slime, I even tried to spank slime into my arse (I needed a little bit of pain right then) playing with myself all the way. It was just wonderful.



By the end, I was messy and more sexed up than I’ve been in ages. Mess can do that. It turns an ordinary woman into a slut or at least it turns this one. Right then, lying in a pool of goo, my half open clothes filled with thick slime, my hair matted and my make-up long gone, all I wanted was a good rough fuck right there in the mess.

But sadly there was nobody there to give it to me. Perhaps I should have gone next door…

Related posts:

1. French Maid Hayley at Your Service
2. Virgin on the Ridiculous
3. Our Messiest Private Session Yet!

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a bucket of chocolate over her head and frankly made a mess of the entire rescue! This sparks a tit-for-tat food fight with both girls ending up topless and nicely covered in sweet stuff. Because the TV

crew wanted it adlib (though I also had to been seen directing) the sketch is somewhat more frenetic than usual with food flying everywhere including a vicious pint of cream thrown in Dolly’s face by the oh-so-gentle Katie.It also includes a very sexy bit of cake sitting by Katie (into a large strawberry and cream gateau) whilst Dolly has to settle for her cake being pushed down the inside of her tights!

The crew came away delighted with what they had seen and the attitude of the girls – who hadn’t stopped laughing all the way through. David the director said, “I didn’t think it would be as funny as this! I’m very pleased.” He then interviewed me and was probably less pleased as I rambled on for hours about the joys of sploshing. Well, they wanted me to sound “proud”.

The hardest part for me (no innuendo, please) was their insistence on doing some ‘profile shots’. These were moody bits where each of us had to stand staring straight into the camera for about two minutes, not moving or saying anything. For once I appreciated how hard conventional modelling is! My mind kept drifting and I’d start to look away. It wasn’t helped by the fact that some of these shots were done on the beach in a howling gale with a group of local builders cheering us on – well, cheering Katie and Dolly on. The girls managed to concentrate fine. I was the problem. Still it got done.

Like I say by the time the girls had got showered and I’d done my interview, we were all tired but buzzing. Time for a drink (for Dolly and me, at least!). But first as we said goodbye, we asked David what he was working on next.
“I’m on holiday for a fortnight, then I start work on Dancing on Ice with Holly Willoughby,” he replied.
Suddenly my befuddled brain (and maybe a few parts lower down) woke up.
“Really?” I said. “You know she is a bit of a sploshing icon – getting gunged most weeks on Ministry of Mayhem and pied dressed as a french maid?”
“No, I didn’t!” David laughed. “I’ll tell her!”
Perhaps she’ll join the forum!
(Many more pictures from this film will be on the forum shortly.)

Related posts:

1. Playing with our Dolly
2. CC meets DD in Sploshworld
3. Make Cutie Katie the Queen of FHM!

Although Dolly is a regular visitor to the Splosh! studios – not to mention our local pub (the local B&B owner telling us ’she is quite often a bit hungover in the mornings!”) this was Candy Custard’s first time here, and only her second professional shoot. Rather surprisingly, she liked Hastings rating it above her native Hinkley on the grounds that “it has the sea and Debenhams”. So it follows that she was keen to enjoy the full seaside experience. The sun was out, for once, so the top heavy twosome went for a walk on the beach to admire the front – something that happens to them all the time! Despite being chilly they had to have ice creams and even a paddle


before hitting some of Hastings top designer shops (like the local angling emporium cos they liked the name,

and Substance, a shop that sells a combination of ’smoking requisites’ and sex aids so is known locally as the Dong & Bong). Then full of rubbish seaside food they came to the studio to play with a lot more!
We managed to shoot two films with them. The first was based on the famous old song Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better, with the girls boasting abut just how messy or rude they could be and trying to outdo each other. A lot of pies, eggs, custard, chocolate sauce, cake mix and treacle covered every inch of their spectacular curves and by the end – at absolutely no insistance from me – they were kissing and licking each other’s tits, fondling their own and their opponent’s fannies and getting stuck into some serious mucky minge munching. The breathing made it obvious to even the most cynical splosh film maker that these girls were doing it for real and loving what they were getting up to. Anything You Can Do will be a download on this site soon, but before then we will be running stills from it to let you know what a horny time you are in for.
The second movie was for Gilly’s Silly House (www.gillysillyhouse.com) and should be available for members to download this weekend. It’s a two part adventure starring DD in her famous Alice role and Candy as the Queen of Hearts. Just as the story goes, she had made some tarts and it isn’t long before the dumplinged duo are indulging in a tit-for-tat pie fight washed down with plenty of custard.



That will be Part One which will be at the Silly House this weekend – look out for more pictures from it on the Forum then.
But in Part Two the action gets a lot hotter as the chocolate, cake mix and treacle come out. Again with no direction from me our girls were plunging their faces between each other’s enormous knockers, playing with each other’s sticky pussies and taking it in turns to bury their heads between their new mucker’s thighs! It is very steamy stuff as these shots show. More to follow on the Forum next week.


Again, the breathing gives away just how genuine all this is. These girls are both REAL SPLOSHERS.
Finally we hit the pub, and still fired by adrenalin and in the girls’ cases a lot of sexual energy the drink flowed. In Candy’s case it was in the form of double vodka and cokes whilst Dolly and I stuck to a more moderate singles knowing we weren’t going anywhere for a long while. Thanks to the rate they were going down, the money being pumped into the juke box to keep the cheesy music going and the boss being away, Shane (our favourite barman) kept us locked in till after 4am! By this time the girls had entertained local pissheads like Masonic Jim and John the Alice Cooper fan and been approached by an over amorous gentleman from the Czech republic. Spotting Candy’s considerable cuddle buckets, he came over and said, “I luurrvvve your cleave-arge. Please be my partner!” When she turned him down (and we asked him to talk to someone else) he muttered something about us all being racists and disappeared forgotten into the night.
Less easily forgotten is the moment we left Candy alone with Jason our local garage proprietor. Dolly and I were chatting at the bar when we turned round and saw she was giving him a pole dancing demo! Then, just to prove what he had learned, Jason returned the compliment, stripping off his shirt and dancing for her! Well, it was 3am by then!
At 4.30, even Shane had had enough of our antics and I dropped CC and DD at the B&B where amazingly they made it up for breakfast at 8.30 (I didn’t even make lunch!). However, their Full Englishes went pretty well untouched…
“You didn’t do very well, did you?” said Pat the owner.
How wrong you are, Pat. They did VERY WELL and when all of you see the Silly House videos and the Splosh! one later on, you’ll be bound to agree. Meanwhile, I’m off to a rest home to recover.

Related posts:

1. Playing with our Dolly
2. Clown Julie’s Bank Holiday Slosh Fest!
3. Virgin on the Ridiculous

When Gilly arrived at Hydee’s house to pick her up and take her to the studio, the versatile model (who is a trained dancer, stilt walker and plumber!) was still in bed. So, did she rush to get ready for the drive to St Leonards? Did she hell! She turned up in her pyjamas! It took a couple of big mugs of coffee before she changed out of her PJs and into the mad character in Gillyrella but once she was awake she was brilliant.
We had completely forgotten that this was Hydee’s first experience of being covered in anything other than shaving foam – and during the film she gets deluged in several buckets of bright coloured sponge mix. How did she find it?

She loved it!
“I loved the cake mix!” she enthused. “It tastes lovely. Much nicer than shaving foam!”
Well, now we know, Hydee, there’ll be plenty more to come! If you can keep awake long enough!

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1. Hydee’s Choco-Frolic
2. Roly-poly with Gilly
3. CC meets DD in Sploshworld