Sarah's First Gunging

Phew! Well, we’ve just about cleared up after what was undoubtedly our biggest ever private session. Over 150 pies, 36 litres of custard and nine full buckets of thick cake mix (all pastel colours – no red or brown we were told) were thrown at and over three girls – one of them completely new to messy modelling! Yes, it was quite a baptism, but as you can see, we didn’t let her off lightly!

Charlie, Sarah and Lily S learn what's in store

The three lovely girls were Charlie and Sarah from Essex and Lily S who had travelled from Derby for the day. Charlie had worked with Gungegirls in the past and although newly pregnant was only too happy to cross the Thames for this spectacular session. Lily was equally enthusiastic, though she normally works at home with a webcam. Newcomer Sarah was understandably nervous…but it wasn’t long before she was ‘mucking in’ quite literally.

The pies start to fly...

The excited threesome were to take part in three sketches – that meant three changes of clothes and nine showers as well as the sessions themselves so it was going to be a long afternoon. Fortunately our visitor had carefully scripted the items so the girls could take turns in the shower, otherwise we might have been there all day.

..and Sarah gets the hang of it quickly!

The first sketch was a demonstration of pie throwing to teach Sarah how to throw – and take a pie. Not that she really needed instruction – it was just a good excuse to throw a total of around 70 pies at the girls, a lot ending up in Sarah’s direction. Lots of giggling and no shying away – in fact, in Lily’s case, in the quieter moments she’d happily pie herself.

Sketch two was about covering the girls completely in the 36 litres of custard which they all enjoyed even though the magic yellow liquid varied dramatically in temperature from the boiling hot to the freezing cold! Sarah even obliged us by rolling around in the deep puddle of custard on the floor – an act of extreme bravery beyond the call of duty given the rapidly reducing warmth of the mess.

Then came the finale – a sort of quiz with the girls in their best dresses being pied, pieing each other, and then getting three buckets of gunge each!

Charlie's second bucket of cake mix

Charlie was up first and she and baby happily submitted to the multi-coloured gallons of goo. Then came Sarah. The pies and custard had warmed her up and she was ony too happy to sit under the three torrents of thick heavy cake mix…

Sarah feels in the pink at her gunge debut

First  orange was poured over her, then pink and finally a bucket of green gunge was thrown at her and the rest poured over her head…

Sarah finds our studio comes with food thrown in...

But rather than run away, Sarah sat taking the lot only to be decorated with the remains of the custard by Lily for her troubles. A great trooper, and probably the most messy debut by any sploshing model. So big respect!

Lily S - quiet at last!

Not that Lily had much time to be cocky about giving poor Sarah the cold custard treatment! The chatty, giggly home splosher was soon silenced by a gallon of yellow cake mix followed closely by pink…

She'll get you back for this - and she did!

and then green…

Only when our guest rewarded her brief period of quietude with the last few remaining pies in her face did she return to her normal noisy self. Lily pulled him down into deep lake of cake and custard, made him lie on his back and then buried him in everything she could find – ending up triumphantly standing with one foot on his prostrate form (hidden deep beneath a mucky mountain of mess and paper plates).

It was a fine finish to a fun afternoon – even though the showering went on well into the evening and the clearing up filled the weekend! Lily, Sarah and Charlie were all excellent. They laughed, chatted and squealed but never once protested – even though messy sessions in mid-January are never the most comfortable. Many thanks to them, and to our annual guest who always introduces us to interesting people.

See you again next year – and, we hope, we’ll see the girls a lot sooner than that!

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First, I had to make up the pies. Since several people have asked, I used Erasmic shaving cream dyed yellow with food colouring for the main part of the pie. The best way to do this is empty about three cans in a big bucket, add the dye and whisk it till it’s an even colour. Then I plated them up (as those chefs on telly say) and decorated with cheap white shaving foam. The Erasmic is so thick it is as good as real whipped cream and the white foam made them look delicious!
Next I slipped into my outfit. I saw it on Ebay a few weeks back and liked it because it was a lot fuller than many cheap maid’s dresses with more decoration. I am not really a girly girl when it comes to clothing (frills and lingerie aren’t really me) but if I was going to do that, I wanted to do it properly. And once I’d got the stockings and suspenders on I admit I was beginning to really feel the part. I even started walking in that french ‘ooh la la’ floozy way! What’s more, I automatically started slipping into Clown Julie-style facial expressions! It must be something to do with the frills tickling my fanny!

As has become by custom on these sets, I took the photos myself The camera was set up on a tripod with some pictures to be shot on the timer, others in a sequence. The pies looked so good I couldn’t wait to get on with it, and although I managed a few pre-mess shots (which worked unlike the gunge set) I really just wanted to feel those pies in my face. So no surprise then that after a trial single pie (to check the camera was working) my first real shot was a nice deep pie sandwich right in the kisser!

This felt fantastic (it is one of my favourite moves). The only disappointment was having to wipe it off my face so I could see to set the camera up for the next sequence. Fortunately there were plenty more pies to come!!

As well as the dozen or so pies I had made, I had also bought several litres of ready-made custard. I was determined to make this set a bit classier than some of Bill’s (did you notice the tablecloth?) so was keen to put the custard (warmed in the airing cupboard overnight) into a jug. Unfortunately, I discovered that the biggest jug I had in the house was a tiny Pyrex one!! This was a bit of a pain as I had to keep filling it up (it took two jugs to fill my cleavage alone – hehe no pun intended!). But the warm custard felt so nice it was worth the effort. In fact, by the end I’d poured custard down my cleavage, in my knicks (front and back) even inside my stockings! I can still remember how good it was!

By the end I was (as usual!) on the floor plastering myself with everything I had left. Several full face pies, more custard, an ill-conceived attempt at pouring custard over my head and pieing myself simultaneously (not possible, so edited out!). I love this bit. I can be as silly as I want and stop being the well behaved, smart PA I have to be during the week.

The only snag is trying to concentrate on photos when my pussy is aching for my fingers to push its buttons rather than the cameras. Fanny or Fuji? Tough call… As a result I was disappointed at how many of the shots came out blurred (especially my attempts at body close-ups) so they have been left out of even the full set. Even so I managed 90 good ones, and much more importantly had a fantastic time!

I hope you like them. Being impatient I put one or two photos up on my Fetlife page and a couple of members have been very nice about them. I think some of BDSM crowd think I’m mad and sometimes doing these solo sets seems odd even to me. But I love the spontaneity of them, doing what I want when I want without somebody directing me. I hope the $5 charge for the last two sets in full doesn’t make me appear ‘professional’ cos I’m so not and never want to be. Any money (and I am not expecting much as you can see many of the shots free at The Free House) will be ring-fenced, as politicians say, to go toward costumes and gunge! I don’t want to make a profit, I just want my sets to get bigger, better and messier without having to sell my house!!! And there will always be a free version of anything I do available as well on Channel Free.
You see, now I’ve started getting messy again I want to carry on for ever!

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Things did not start well! First of all the white nurse’s uniform I ordered from Ebay claiming to be a size 12 turned out to be more like a large 14 so slipping into it I was disappointed that it wasn’t a bit tighter round the waist and boobs. Now I like ‘full’ clothes for getting messy in (can’t be doing with skimpy outfits, I like the feel of wet, heavy fabric against my skin) but even so I felt this looked a bit baggy. But if nothing else it was a realistic uniform not the Ann Summers variety, though the stockings are strictly non-NHS.
So I did the best I could with it, tightened the belt round my waist and went into the garden to put my dustsheet down. Oh No! Disappointment No 2. My neighbour who is about 105 and a total recluse had suddenly decided to hold a garden party! The old sod never sees a soul – now there were about 20 people next door eating and drinking (if you’ve seen my wet pictures on the Free House you will have seen his knackered umbrella poking above the fence – well today it was open for the first time this century!). As soon as they saw me they smiled and waved, and I think I heard someone say to my neighbour how handy it must be having a nurse live next door. I was tempted to give them a flash of my stocking tops but they were all quite old – I didn’t want to cause any fatalities.
So, now, despite a lovely warm sunny day, I was going to have to do my three gallon gunging indoors! This presented two problems. Firstly where? and secondly would the camera be able to do what I wanted in flash? The first problem was easily sorted. My son has left home now and his spare room is waiting to be redecorated, so I lay my dustsheet down there. The second looked more complicated. I am no camerawoman and it took a while to find out how to take a sequence of pics on timer with flash. I thought I’d set it up right but apparently not. The clean photos were all too rubbish to use. I also discovered that you have to stay a lot stiller for flash pics for some reason. As a result, sorry no pristine uniform pics!

I opted for my bucket of pink slime first! I’d made all the gunge the night before after buying that off Ebay as well (simply look under ‘gunge’ and several people sell it, in some cases ready coloured). You mix it with about four litres of warm water, adding the water slowly and stirring a lot. And I mean a lot. I am glad I hadn’t done it that morning, it was quite tiring. I then left it in the airing cupboard next to my knickers to get warm and for the bubbles to subside so it was nice and smooth.

Even in the unsexy surroundings of my spare bedroom, worrying about the camera, I was getting butterflies in the tummy – that lovely feeling you have when you are about to be naughty. I lifted the bucket and started pouring…mmmmmm! The gunge was great. Blood temperature and thick it flattened my hair and fell over my face. I poured some more. Oooooh now it was running down my dress and without thinking I undid it to allow the slime to slip inside to my – oh! – bra! Damn! I’d forgotten to take it off, and it was a good one too! However, it didn’t prevent my nipples from realising what was going on and responding accordingly – naughty things!

Being translucent, the pink slime meant I could reset the camera without wiping my eyes, but my next colour would be more of a problem! For some reason, the blue slime – this was more of a gunge than a slime – had mixed rather more thickly. So as I went back and poured the first big dollop everything disappeared from view! Suddenly I had no idea where the camera was or when it would flash which made the photography bloody difficult!


The good news was that it felt FANTASTIC. I love that heavy feeling in my hair and over my face so I was beginning to get seriously worked up! I poured more and more, forgetting about the camera completely, rubbing it inside my uniform till my bra was soaked and my boobs superbly slimy. I think you can tell I was beginning to have some real fun now. It’s a good job there’s no sound on this blog – you might be shocked!!

It’ was then the next problem arose… One of the reasons gunge feels good is because it is so slippery. Unfortunate this then makes the floor slippery, especially in stockings and with my hands now slimed up from fondling my messy tits, getting to the camera and setting it up again made me look like Bambi on the ice. So from now on, I decided it was time to do everything on the floor – which had the added advantage of giving my stockings a lovely gooey going-over as well!

It was now the time I was looking forward to most. I love black mess – treacle, oil, you name it and the black gunge (far too heavy to be called slime) had mixed beautifully to a gorgeous glossy mass. Sod the photos – this was going over my head non-stop however shit the pictures!

And that’s exactly what I did!


Wooooooooo! It felt wonderful. My whole head was engulfed in thick black mess. I couldn’t see, could hardly hear or even breathe. It ran down every inch of me and my pussy responded at once. Suddenly I was warm and moist inside and outside my undies. The dress was heavy with three gallons of gloop and hugging my body like a wet bear I just wanted to roll around and frig myself silly, or get the dildo out and fuck myself into a stupour. The only problem was I had no idea where I’d put them and I couldn’t see a thing! Damn, perhaps a man is useful afterall. So instead, after sliding my hand inside the warm, wet confines of my knickers for a little play, I staggered of to find the camera!

Sadly I had to wipe my eyes to set up again but I still had some of the blue gunge left, so I decided it was time to let go and have some fun. I had mastered the camera on auto now, the uniform was feeling warm and wet against my body, so go for it, gal!



I poured the blue goo right over my head and that was enough. Giggling like a cross between a silly little girl and a muck-and-fuck-loving whore (which is exactly what I am!), I rubbed slime into every bit of my body, the slime-sodden clothes held me tight like the arms of of a big messy man – and one that never lets me down! I rolled in the slime, I tried to fuck the slime, I even tried to spank slime into my arse (I needed a little bit of pain right then) playing with myself all the way. It was just wonderful.



By the end, I was messy and more sexed up than I’ve been in ages. Mess can do that. It turns an ordinary woman into a slut or at least it turns this one. Right then, lying in a pool of goo, my half open clothes filled with thick slime, my hair matted and my make-up long gone, all I wanted was a good rough fuck right there in the mess.

But sadly there was nobody there to give it to me. Perhaps I should have gone next door…

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Naturally, being a train fan I managed to pick a route that made the journey as tedious as possible! I found the one train a day that winds its way from Brighton to Cardiff (via Bristol) stopping at just about anywhere with a discernable pulse. Armed with some overpriced sandwiches from Brighton Station, I squeezed on board the tiny train for the near four-hour journey. Now as I said, this train (catering for early rush hour in Brighton, late rush hour in Southampton, then early revellers in Bath and Bristol) stopped EVERYWHERE and the female conductor guard was obliged to announce every station it stopped at, every time it stopped. So in order to fit this between stations the poor woman rushed through the list so quickly it sounded more like a Welsh place name than a route. Then to add to her woes (and ours!) the only two toilets on the train broke so she was being constantly harrassed by men, women and children desperate for a wee making her even more fraught. Not her best day at work, I was thinking. Thankfully, my bladder didn’t fill till the train emptied at Bristol. Three cheers for a 50-year-old prostate!

After a short trip with the world’s most miserable cabby (“There’s nothing going on here, mate! No students, no money. Waste of my bleeding time” he said of the city hosting a Banksy exhibition that had completely packed every hotel). I arrived at the fabulously glamourous Premier Inn in Haymarket. Now I could do lots of cheap hotel jokes but frankly the Premier was fine. The room was perfectly good, the shower excellent, and the TV had Freeview (a luxury unknown on our bit of the South Coast). Best of all as I discovered reading the endless bumph they clutter every flat surface with, it had an “All You Can Eat” Breakfast which didn’t finish till 11am! Now that’s the sort of challenge I’m prepared to get up early for! By mid-day I had worked my way through the fruit juice, Honey Nut Corn Flakes, eggs, bacon, sausages, tomato, mushrooms, tea and toast and was set up for a day on the piss with Mike and the sploshers.
Just time first for a quick pint before setting off – and the start of what became a running theme for the weekend. At 1pm the bar of my hotel was packed with pissed-up Welsh women wearing very little except feathers and bunny ears on a hen party. As I had to squeeze past the excitable rabble who were posing for pictures, I offered to take their shot so they could all be in it. Much giggling was followed by the offer of a chance for me to appear in a pic with the bride to be in green tutu and L plates (her not me!). More Welsh laughter. This was merely the start. By the end of the night, it seemed just about everyone in Bristol was either on a hen or stag night and in fancy dress! The streets were packed with hysterical women (often Welsh) dressed as naughty nurses and policewomen. Latert as we sat drinking, Darth Vadar rode past on a pushbike (it seems even the Death Star has gone green!). I felt decidedly underdressed!

Horts Bar in Bristol was the venue Mike had chosen and it is ideal for these sort of meets. It is big enough to cater for a meeting of 20 people without them even noticing. In fact the toilets were further away than the hotel! Mike and Sammy-Jane were in the corner when I arrived and soon after people were turning up from all over the country, many of whom I hadn’t met or hadn’t seen for years (15 in Andy’s case). As forum members will know they are real ‘characters’. For instance, freed of his keyboard and surreal spelling Andy123 talks so quickly and continuously that it is best to treat him like a radio playing in the background – dipping in and out of listening when something interesting arises. However don’t expect to contribute. If you want to join in or express an opinion it is probably best to send him a text.

Mike Nomic by contrast opts for the Grumpy Git persona, especially towards people who don’t drink real ale (at one point he even suggested a meet purely for people who drink proper beer). Whilst Andy’s conversation is a war of attrition, Mike goes for the sudden explosion – a deafening Bristol bellow that rings round the room. So if you go, don’t be surprised to find your quiet conversation suddenly interrupted by a West Country Brian Blessed yell of ‘WEASEL PISS!” if he spots you’ve opted to drink Fosters.

On the professional front, Andy brought his workmate Jammed whose lovable dumb puppy looks hide the fact that he is really a sharp-brained businessman. No, I’m lying. This was a man who accidentally locked into his own toilet for 45 minutes that morning. Eden and Jon, fresh from their Canadian adventures, provided some much needed youth and glamour, and Janet and Nick (who appear on our Mad Macs pages) popped along too representing the more mature messy modelling scene. If you sometimes feel you’re alone, Nick’s your man. He knows all about being part of an oppressed minority – he was a fan of John Major. And Dirtydids popped in to despite a run of poor health. It was good to see him on his feet again and still determined to take pictures when he can.
Richard and Sploshman are almost professionals in the number of sessions they have done on the forum and it was good to meet Richard for the first time. He is far more jolly in real life, nothing like Victor Meldrew at all, and Sploshman is just too cool for words. Rich D Rich had travelled in all the way from New Zealand. I hope he had toilets! PleasePieMeMistress, Aufpet, Gungemegood. Bondageboiir and Thrillseeker completed the line-up of guys I hadn’t met – and one or two were very complimentary about our stuff which made the trip worthwhile. I was nearly as excited as when a beautifully restored Bristol Lodekka open topped bus (circa 1963) from Minehead went past full of yet more waving women on a hen party. Naturally we all waved back. Then I watched the pub people’s faces change as they realised I was weird enough to be more interested in the bus!

At about 7pm, we left the pub full of real ale and ‘weasel piss’ (what is it about weasels along with gnats that gives them such famously bland-tasting urine? And how does anyone know?) to go to an Italian restaurant I can’t remember the name of. Inside, guess what? Another party of women, this time with Mickey Mouse ears, rather surprised to be gazumped by our larger and frankly more unruly group. The alcohol had worked its wicked magic and so the conversation became increasingly bizarre. Eden told a restaurant silencing story about finding a human turd on an Underground train which led to speculation whether it was better to shit yourself or take your trousers down and defecate in full view of the passengers. The Mickey Mouse Club looked a little perturbed at this, especially when I did my impression of the station tannoy announcing “MIND THE CRAP! MIND THE CRAP!” It was then that Darth Vadar cycled past. No, he did. Honest! I wasn’t the only one who saw him…
Paranoid about being lost in a strange city somewhat pissed, I then called a cab to go about five yards to my hotel. As ever I rushed out not saying goodbye to enough people or thanking them for an excellent day. Thank you all. Got back to the hotel just in time for a cheap double scotch. Sadly no sign of the Welsh women…
…Until the next morning! As I drifted down to breakfast, the Welsh ladies were checking out. Their numbers had swollen by two inflatable men which the bride carried with her suitcase as if it was the latest Louis Vitton accessory. After (a rather smaller) breakfast, I too signed out and shared a cab to the station with a couple who had travelled all the way from Bolton to see the Banksy exhibition only to be told their was a six hour queue to get in. So they went on a boat trip instead. I asked if they were tempted to spray something rude on the wall of the gallery. They smiled weakly. My timing’s shit when I’m hungover.
Back on the train and First Great Western came good. Dead on time all the way with a choice of toilets and a totally comprehesible guard. Fortunately there was some entertainment… Two seats along was a very posh family trying to keep their children entertained by each of them picking animals beginning with a certain letter and letting the others guess what it was. Finally it was the 7-year-old boy’s turn. “I am an animal beginning with E,” he said proudly. The others started guessing. Elephant, emu, eagle…everything they suggested met with a no. Finally the exhausted family gave up. “OK what are you?” asked the mother wearily.”For heavens sake, Mummy, it’s easy. I’m an echidna!” A surreal end to a surreal three days.
Thanks for letting me be there.

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a bucket of chocolate over her head and frankly made a mess of the entire rescue! This sparks a tit-for-tat food fight with both girls ending up topless and nicely covered in sweet stuff. Because the TV

crew wanted it adlib (though I also had to been seen directing) the sketch is somewhat more frenetic than usual with food flying everywhere including a vicious pint of cream thrown in Dolly’s face by the oh-so-gentle Katie.It also includes a very sexy bit of cake sitting by Katie (into a large strawberry and cream gateau) whilst Dolly has to settle for her cake being pushed down the inside of her tights!

The crew came away delighted with what they had seen and the attitude of the girls – who hadn’t stopped laughing all the way through. David the director said, “I didn’t think it would be as funny as this! I’m very pleased.” He then interviewed me and was probably less pleased as I rambled on for hours about the joys of sploshing. Well, they wanted me to sound “proud”.

The hardest part for me (no innuendo, please) was their insistence on doing some ‘profile shots’. These were moody bits where each of us had to stand staring straight into the camera for about two minutes, not moving or saying anything. For once I appreciated how hard conventional modelling is! My mind kept drifting and I’d start to look away. It wasn’t helped by the fact that some of these shots were done on the beach in a howling gale with a group of local builders cheering us on – well, cheering Katie and Dolly on. The girls managed to concentrate fine. I was the problem. Still it got done.

Like I say by the time the girls had got showered and I’d done my interview, we were all tired but buzzing. Time for a drink (for Dolly and me, at least!). But first as we said goodbye, we asked David what he was working on next.
“I’m on holiday for a fortnight, then I start work on Dancing on Ice with Holly Willoughby,” he replied.
Suddenly my befuddled brain (and maybe a few parts lower down) woke up.
“Really?” I said. “You know she is a bit of a sploshing icon – getting gunged most weeks on Ministry of Mayhem and pied dressed as a french maid?”
“No, I didn’t!” David laughed. “I’ll tell her!”
Perhaps she’ll join the forum!
(Many more pictures from this film will be on the forum shortly.)

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Katie is not just a sweet , great-looking girl – as this cleaner picture of her shows…

….she just loves getting messy and is a fantastically good sport. As well as appearing with Gilly on Graham Norton, she has been stuck in the stocks, pelted with pies, covered in chocolate, spanked – and this week pelted with even more pies, custard, baked beans and (next week) deluged with five different flavours of thick cake mix gunge! A real trooper! So if anyone deserves to get the £30,000 prize it’s her – not some airhead model who’ll blow it all on one designer handbag.

So vote for her now.
Simply go to www.fhm.com/honeys/katiegreen and vote for her there or you can text your vote by sending Honey Katie (with a space between the two) to 86145. Texts cost just 15p each plus your standard network rate (scarcely an Ant & Dec-style rip off).
So how did a pretty, splosh-loving girl get to be noticed by FHM? Well, it might just be her interview technique. Applying for the Hot Honey contest she was granted an interview after being asked on her application form to describe herself in three words. Naturally, she ignored ‘bubbly’, ‘beautiful’, ‘caring’, ‘loyal’ etc and went for ’slim, sexy and psychotic’! And got in. Then at the interview itself when they tried to catch her out with one of those silly questions – in this case “How would you dispose of a dead body?” – instead of clamming up, she smiled sweetly and said, “First I’d chop it up then feed it to the pigs. Then I’d kill the pigs and make you eat the the evidence through the medium of bacon buttiess!” Not your average model’s reply.

We love her – and you will too in the next two weeks updates at www.gillysillyhouse.com – so get voting. Otherwise, remember, she knows how to dispose of your remains!

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Although Dolly is a regular visitor to the Splosh! studios – not to mention our local pub (the local B&B owner telling us ’she is quite often a bit hungover in the mornings!”) this was Candy Custard’s first time here, and only her second professional shoot. Rather surprisingly, she liked Hastings rating it above her native Hinkley on the grounds that “it has the sea and Debenhams”. So it follows that she was keen to enjoy the full seaside experience. The sun was out, for once, so the top heavy twosome went for a walk on the beach to admire the front – something that happens to them all the time! Despite being chilly they had to have ice creams and even a paddle


before hitting some of Hastings top designer shops (like the local angling emporium cos they liked the name,

and Substance, a shop that sells a combination of ’smoking requisites’ and sex aids so is known locally as the Dong & Bong). Then full of rubbish seaside food they came to the studio to play with a lot more!
We managed to shoot two films with them. The first was based on the famous old song Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better, with the girls boasting abut just how messy or rude they could be and trying to outdo each other. A lot of pies, eggs, custard, chocolate sauce, cake mix and treacle covered every inch of their spectacular curves and by the end – at absolutely no insistance from me – they were kissing and licking each other’s tits, fondling their own and their opponent’s fannies and getting stuck into some serious mucky minge munching. The breathing made it obvious to even the most cynical splosh film maker that these girls were doing it for real and loving what they were getting up to. Anything You Can Do will be a download on this site soon, but before then we will be running stills from it to let you know what a horny time you are in for.
The second movie was for Gilly’s Silly House (www.gillysillyhouse.com) and should be available for members to download this weekend. It’s a two part adventure starring DD in her famous Alice role and Candy as the Queen of Hearts. Just as the story goes, she had made some tarts and it isn’t long before the dumplinged duo are indulging in a tit-for-tat pie fight washed down with plenty of custard.



That will be Part One which will be at the Silly House this weekend – look out for more pictures from it on the Forum then.
But in Part Two the action gets a lot hotter as the chocolate, cake mix and treacle come out. Again with no direction from me our girls were plunging their faces between each other’s enormous knockers, playing with each other’s sticky pussies and taking it in turns to bury their heads between their new mucker’s thighs! It is very steamy stuff as these shots show. More to follow on the Forum next week.


Again, the breathing gives away just how genuine all this is. These girls are both REAL SPLOSHERS.
Finally we hit the pub, and still fired by adrenalin and in the girls’ cases a lot of sexual energy the drink flowed. In Candy’s case it was in the form of double vodka and cokes whilst Dolly and I stuck to a more moderate singles knowing we weren’t going anywhere for a long while. Thanks to the rate they were going down, the money being pumped into the juke box to keep the cheesy music going and the boss being away, Shane (our favourite barman) kept us locked in till after 4am! By this time the girls had entertained local pissheads like Masonic Jim and John the Alice Cooper fan and been approached by an over amorous gentleman from the Czech republic. Spotting Candy’s considerable cuddle buckets, he came over and said, “I luurrvvve your cleave-arge. Please be my partner!” When she turned him down (and we asked him to talk to someone else) he muttered something about us all being racists and disappeared forgotten into the night.
Less easily forgotten is the moment we left Candy alone with Jason our local garage proprietor. Dolly and I were chatting at the bar when we turned round and saw she was giving him a pole dancing demo! Then, just to prove what he had learned, Jason returned the compliment, stripping off his shirt and dancing for her! Well, it was 3am by then!
At 4.30, even Shane had had enough of our antics and I dropped CC and DD at the B&B where amazingly they made it up for breakfast at 8.30 (I didn’t even make lunch!). However, their Full Englishes went pretty well untouched…
“You didn’t do very well, did you?” said Pat the owner.
How wrong you are, Pat. They did VERY WELL and when all of you see the Silly House videos and the Splosh! one later on, you’ll be bound to agree. Meanwhile, I’m off to a rest home to recover.

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