“Good evening, sir, madam, and welcome to the Free House. Please take a seat and prepare yourself for massive helpings of pies, custard, beans, treacle and every other conceivable mess washed down with gallons of water. We have a strict dress code – all our models must be smartly attired or seriously slutty to start even though they will end up a total mucked up wreck and probably naked.
“Now if you are sitting comfortably, perhaps you’d like to see the menu…”
Hi all.
I’ve been having some fun at home again taking more messy pictures of myself this time dressed is a saucy french maid. Some of the pictures can be found in The Free House (www.splosh.co.uk/channel_free/the_free_house/index.htm) with our usual funny captions or you can download the lot along with my gunge set (a total of 175 photos full size and full resolution) at www.sploshdownloads.com for the smallest fee the credit card billers will accept ($5). All proceeds go to costumes and gunge for the next set, so the more people buy it (if anyone) the messier I’ll be!
In the meantime, I thought you might like to hear the fun I had taking the pics…
Four of the best sketches from our DVD Hot Coffee & Sticky Buns are now available to download without membership at www.hits.sploshdownloads.com. It continues our mighty mission to bring you highlights of the last 20 years of Splosh! (as well as new stuff, of course) to download instantly and these four are definitely worth having in your collection, especially Sammy-Jane and Ophelia’s pie fight (as seen above).
So that's the full menu Madam?
Bit of a miserable week for me as I was laid low with an attack of flu-bris – the hubris caused when you think you have defeated the flu and instead it comes back worse than ever. So, coughing, sneezing etc I have been stuck indoors for the last seven days except for a brief visit from Clown Julie’s comedy partner Charlie who told me all about their pie-flinging encounter with mature glamour puss, Miss Jones…
Searching for some Alice Cooper music and video to wake me up one morning, I found this…
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJ1rHdIL0qw
Now I’ve always been an Alice fan since Schools Out coincided with the end of my O levels, and was well aware that Soupy Sales was an American comic famous for throwing custard pies but I had no idea the two had come together (in 1979 apparently). There’s a longer version of the sketch on Youtube as well.
We noticed that Alice seemed to enjoy Splosh! when they both appeared on The Graham Norton Show last year, but didn’t know he’d been an active participant! And with one of the slapstick legends!! Now I’m an even greater fan than ever!
Over the last couple of years we have had lots of struggles trying to set up a download area for Splosh! but at last it looks like it’s about to happen. For ages we have been trying to bring you scenes which we have filmed in spare moments like ’schoolgirl’ Tracy (above) deluged in dozens of different things as she learns her ABC but been thwarted by credit card companies, technology and burocracy.
You may not recognise her under the shaving foam and baked beans but this is Silly House favourite Katie (in her latest adventure there out this week). And it turns out she’s not just a favourite of ours, but one of international best selling magazine FHM. Katie has been chosen as one of the Top Ten Hot Honeys (out of thousands who applied) to compete for the title of FHM Honey of 2008. And you can (and should) vote for her right away!
You know there are going to be big things in front of you when you invite 36FF Decadent Doll down to meet ‘new tits on the block’ 36HH Candy Custard and film two sessions with them. And what a riotous couple of days it turned out to be. As well as being deluged with dozens of pies, gallons of gunge, litres of custard and tons of treacle, they also got very pissed, had a marriage proposal from a total stranger, gave a poledancing lesson to one of the locals and ate ice cream after paddling on the beach – in February!
I am sorry if this entry seems a bit egotistical (Who? Meeeeeeeeeeee?) but over on the Forum somebody asked for a rough timeline of my life in porn etc, so here it is…. Don’t worry, normal service (pictures of messy tits and mildly amusing anecdotes) will resume shortly, and it put off doing the tax return for another hour. So here goes…
Absolutely loved this picture from the BBC iPlayer site last week featuring gay and somewhat feminist comedienne Sandi Toksvig reading our magazine.
Sandi was a guest on the same Graham Norton Show where Gilly and a bunch of her girlfriends demonstrated sploshing on the programme last year. And although she seems somewhat disgusted by the contents of our fine magazine, she actually took it all with good grace, though I can’t see her rushing to take part!
