Lily S - Custard Queen

It’s always nice to see a familiar face – especially when it’s covered in pie, custard and cake mix. And this week we were delighted to see exactly that. Lily S made the trip down from Derby  for a rematch with Dom who once again trounced her in the travel cred stakes by coming all the way from Korea! On his last visit (also described on this blog), Lily was one of three victims of Dom’s penchant for pies in the face and gunge by the bucketful. This time she had the mess to herself – and, boy, did she get it…

Lily makes the objects of her own destruction!

Lily is a lovely lady who works under a variety of names – and in this case under a variety of substances! As well as travelling from Derby just for Dom’s session, she brought all her own outfits for his three sketches and looked stunning in each. She even helped make the pies!

Sorry, Lily, the pies get thrown at YOU!

In Dom’s first sketch she played an interviewer on The Messy Show where she talked to Dom about sploshing and then asked him to demonstrate on their ‘model’, Ooops, surprise, surprise! The model hasn’t turned up, so the tightly bloused and skirted Lily has to take those pies!

It's a tough life being a TV presenter!

And take them she did by the dozen -  both placed and thrown (and it’s not easy to throw shaving foam pies, Dom’s weapon of choice), gently and hard, greeting them all with a comment in character or simply peals of giggles . Then she stripped off to reveal what she referred to with mock coyness as her ‘bosom and lady garden’ only to be plastered with lots more in both – and of course her sweet face! Finally as if that weren’t enough she was deluged with a huge bucket of orange cake mix!

The future is orange for our naked hostess!

But Lily was undaunted – in fact she was loving every minute and was topped off with even more pies to the face before she headed for the shower to get ready for scene two.

Lily recommends custard - about 8 litres of it!

Absolutely no prizes for plot or gags in Dom’s second scene but they weren’t missed. Not when the scene consisted of Lily S wearing very little (and soon nothing at all) and being covered teasingly slowly but continuously with 8 litres of real custard. Again, Lily not only stood or sat obediently as the rather chilly custard poured nipple-achingly slowly over her head, dripping down her boobs and body,  but she also kept up a running commentary on how she was feeling and how much she was enjoying it.

Golden shower? The custard continues to pour...

“It feels likes being peed on!” Lily informed us (giving away another of her interests?) as the custard trickled over and tickled her bare body coating it completely in creamy yellow goo.

But if Dom isn’t a believer in gilding the lily, he is a believer in gunging it – and our thigh-booted beauty was served a simple  dessert to her custard shower in the form of several more pies in the face (this time real cream) followed by – you guessed it! – another bucket of cake mix! Again with devilish slowness, it engulfed her head and her long custard-clogged completely, and on film looked quite amazing.

Cake mix and custard - the perfect combination.

As a lover of the rubbish pun and the rather feeble excuse for a good pie scene (you noticed?), it is no secret that my favourite of Dom’s three sketches was the last. Here we took a messy flight of fantasy onboard Pie in the Sky Airlines where our stewardess is giving the pre-flight instructions to her passenger.

After once again helping to make the pies in the ‘galley’, Lily started the demo pointing out where the ‘emergency pies’ were located, what would happen during turbulence (pies could fly in from anywhere!) and that in the event of a loss of pressure, gunge would fall from above – with the obvious but very entertaining consequences!

As a result our sweet stewardess went from smart elegant perfection….

"Welcome to Pie in the Sky Airlines..."

to a sploshy mess faster than Concorde in its heyday!

"You'll find our pies here, here and here!"

And soon after it wasn’t just the plane that had taken off , her uniform had been too and  pies were landing on her thick and fast – along with three very full buckets of gunge! But like the cute and courteous cabin crew member she was playing, Lily kept smiling…

"We have a wide range of messy in-flight entertainment ..."

"With temptingly comfy seating at the rear..."

Whilst our passenger did get a few pies in the face served by the lovely Lily, it was clear who was the principal victim here. I genuinely lost count of the number of foam pies Lily was hit with (perhaps Dom will count them for me!) as the plot got lost in the melee along with Lily’s face beneath layer after layer of foam and gunge. These stills don’t capture just how messy Lilly got because they were taken in breathing spaces between the multi-pie barrages. Perhaps, with Dom’s permission, I will take some stills from the video as well to give you a better impression. What they do show perfectly is that whatever Dom threw at her, Lily emerged smiling sweetly – and still giggling.

"On landing, please wait until the gunge has stopped flowing completely before you try to get up ..."

By the end of the afternoon, the three sketches had produced 70 mins of film and around 70 stills (not easy when you are shooting both, but I count myself lucky to have been there). There was a small lake of gunge on the floor despite having cleared up between each sketch and one bin bag was already bursting with used polystyrene plates. Lilly though was still laughing and only to happy to pose for some portrait pics like the one below…

"Thank you for pie, I mean flying, with me. I hope you enjoy it!"

…before even she finally had to give in and get into the shower. But even there I couldn’t resist one last shot…

"Oy, go away! This area is for cabin crew only!"

Lily S is a sweet girl to work with and certainly loves her pies and gunge, and since Dom likes throwing them and I like seeing the results, it turned into a very happy afternoon.

Many thanks to Dom for letting me share some of his photos with you (before he’s even seen them himself!) and, of course, to Lily for being such a happy recipient. I can’t wait to work with her again.

Related posts:

1. Our Messiest Private Session Yet!
2. More Stills from Our Messiest Session
3. When the Munch Got Messy…

As I’ve mentioned before, the general fetish munch held in my local pub in St Leonards is always worth a visit. However this month’s was even better than ever. Why? Because we decided to give the munchers a taste of sploshing!

We had been hoping to stage something of the sort all winter but not surprisingly the landlady wasn’t too keen on having her pub plastered with custard (especially as it had just been painted) so we had to wait till the warmer weather so we could stage something sploshy  in the rather grandly titled beer garden. As everyone who was there agreed, it was well worth the wait…And they nearly had to wait even longer! The sploshing had already been postponed once due to a last minute hospital appointment of mine and this time just as I set up the table in the garden….

Getting ready to go…again.

Luscious Lily up for anything!

One person who did arrive looking amazing and as enthusiastic as ever was the lovely Lilibee, my victim, sorry, co-presenter for the night. Lily is a local lady from just down the road in Hastings and has been sploshing for fun for several years. She turned up at the munch the previous month expecting a demo then only to be disappointed. Now she was going to be the star of the show! See what can happen when you spend any time in the pub with me!

As the storm had abated at least temporarily I set the table up again, and as the water trickled down the drains, the munchers trickled in. Soon the pub was almost as well filled as Lily’s bra and I was getting keen to top the latter up some more but first there was the small matter of torturing a teddy to get out the way!

The pub croc says hello to the Eastbourne mascot

Bernard the bear is the mascot of the ‘rival’ Eastbourne munch. Being a heartless bunch in that particularly posh resort, Bernard (who boasts an unfeasibly large cock and bollocks) was left behind at their last do – so one of our lot kidnapped him (or should it be ted-napped him?) and brought him along. It was decided to subject him to a warm St Leonards welcome. First he was tied up and gagged, then he had an unfortunate encounter with the pub crocodile who lives upside-down on the ceiling (think Spidercroc) and finally he met Rex who formed an instant attachment to him. Unfortunately for Bernard, Rex is a beautiful, golden-coloured corn snake!

Bernard is cuddled by Rex the real, live corn snake

With the weather looking threatening again and in danger of being upstaged by a teddy bear, Lily and I announced we were off to start our demo. Without any more encouragement, the entire pub followed us out. It wasn’t the warmest night of the year. The wind was whipping up (appropriate for a fetish night) and it had started drizzling but that was nothing compared to what was about to pour down on Lily.

Getting saucy...

First we explained that most people preferred to splosh with sweet things and instantly demonstrated this by coating the lovely Lily in sticky strawberry sauce, chocolate and custard. Her capacious cleavage was the main target but some ‘accidentally’ went over her head and down over her arms till she was a lovely icky mess.

The custard hits the spot...

Next we turned our attention to Lily’s favourite – Carnation condensed milk which I started by pouring over her and she obligingly continued by pouring over herself! I’ve never used it before but it does indeed have a lovely consistency for sploshing.

The best place to wear a Carnation

Then I offered to demonstrate the joys of baked beans and spaghetti which (in a carefully pre-rehearsed gag) Lily refused opting instead to have her knickers filled! Bending her down in front of the now gobsmacked audience, I poured in a litre of custard and a couple of tins of rice pudding and gave them a bit of a smack (who says I don’t know how to work a BDSM crowd?).

Then beat the eggs...with a paddle!

This seemed to go do well, so I repeated the trick I used on Tigerr in a recent download and filled the back of Lily’ panties with whole eggs, then smashed them with a leather-covered metal paddle! Call it, if you will,  a demonstration of the best way I know to beat eggs. Sure enough, raw egg was soon running in rivulets down the back of her thighs, glistening in the light of the pub’s security lamps (it was sooo glamorous!).

After another refused offer to show her the delights of baked beans, it was then time to get out the pies. Shaving foam this time – well, the pub has no showers (unsurprisingly) and there was some limit to the mess we were allowed to make in their garden. However, there were plenty of them and Lily was soon nicely plastered, especially with her favourite pie sandwiches.

Splat! Out of the darkness, something came...

Now she was blind and deaf with foam pie, I thought I might get away with using up those prepared bowls of baked beans and spaghetti but no,  Lily had other ideas! With a deft movement she grabbed them instead and had the nerve to plaster her host – much to the audience’s delight (especially the pub regulars).

Revenge! She won't get away with that for long!

Well, we have punishments for that, so it was off to the pillory for her where I could pie her without any fear of revenge! There, Lily took many flans in the face, plenty in the bum and boobs (along with anything else I could find lying around) and yet more custard down her already well-filled front.

Into the stocks with the wench!

Shall we leave her there?

Once I had grown tired of messing Lily up – or rather run out of ingredients – I did the decent thing and let the lovely lady out…

…only for her to attack me with a carton of custard! How ungrateful can you get! Still I’ll let her off for now.

Lily looks smug after another bout of revenge

Besides, it was time now to get clean using the pub’s state of the art facilities – a hose connected to the outdoor cold tap! I would love to say for comedy purposes it was freezing – but whether it was adrenalin or arousal, neither of us felt the cold as we hosed each other down with the water turned on full blast. Wouldn’t fancy it so much in the winter, mind!

When we’d finally cleaned ourselves up enough to be allowed back in the pub, one female muncher was being tied up and the regulars were happily taking the piss out of ‘the bit where you got the beans’, but we were too much in need of alcohol to care. A few drinks later and the largely non-sploshing audience were being very complimentary. Several have offered to have a go and (unless I am very much mistaken) Lily had not only enjoyed herself but become a regular. She is a lovely lady with a proper sensible job who just adores all sorts of mistreatment – the ideal companion. She’s also very entertaining company. So a big hand for her – and bigger bowls. The ones I supplied don’t fit her boobs!

Epilogue…

The next day I went back to the pub to clean up the garden a bit more and collect my things. Two well dressed, respectable men were sat in the corner and called me over.

“Err.. I hope you don’t mind me saying,” said one nervously. “But we are in the area working and happened to come here last night. The landlady said you wouldn’t mind if we watched your little show in the garden so we did.”

“Oh right!” I said slightly taken aback. “I hope you weren’t too shocked.”

“Far from it, It was great fun.”

“Well,” I said half jokingly. “If you go to splosh.co.uk you can see a lot more of it.”

“Really!” exclaimed the one on the left with genuine enthusiasm. “Can I write that down?”

If you’re reading this, sir, Lily says Hi!

Many thanks to Dean (known as Bumblepee on Fetlife) for these photos which I think I can safely say he thoroughly enjoyed taking. He is also the proud owner of Rex the corn snake! Ta, Dean!

Big thanks too to the pub for letting us do it!

The St Leonards General Fetish Munch is held every 2nd Wednesday of the month at the Marina Fountain pub at the western end of the seafront opposite West St Leonards Gardens. It’s run by a guy called Simon and his voluptuous missus and is very friendly and welcoming. And although it is purely a munch (ie just a pub get-together) we do occasionally have some fun – as you can see.

Related posts:

1. Munch on This!
2. ‘Come Pie with Me!’ says Lily S

“Now if you are sitting comfortably, perhaps you’d like to see the menu…”

Related posts:

1. Channel Free

First, I had to make up the pies. Since several people have asked, I used Erasmic shaving cream dyed yellow with food colouring for the main part of the pie. The best way to do this is empty about three cans in a big bucket, add the dye and whisk it till it’s an even colour. Then I plated them up (as those chefs on telly say) and decorated with cheap white shaving foam. The Erasmic is so thick it is as good as real whipped cream and the white foam made them look delicious!
Next I slipped into my outfit. I saw it on Ebay a few weeks back and liked it because it was a lot fuller than many cheap maid’s dresses with more decoration. I am not really a girly girl when it comes to clothing (frills and lingerie aren’t really me) but if I was going to do that, I wanted to do it properly. And once I’d got the stockings and suspenders on I admit I was beginning to really feel the part. I even started walking in that french ‘ooh la la’ floozy way! What’s more, I automatically started slipping into Clown Julie-style facial expressions! It must be something to do with the frills tickling my fanny!

As has become by custom on these sets, I took the photos myself The camera was set up on a tripod with some pictures to be shot on the timer, others in a sequence. The pies looked so good I couldn’t wait to get on with it, and although I managed a few pre-mess shots (which worked unlike the gunge set) I really just wanted to feel those pies in my face. So no surprise then that after a trial single pie (to check the camera was working) my first real shot was a nice deep pie sandwich right in the kisser!

This felt fantastic (it is one of my favourite moves). The only disappointment was having to wipe it off my face so I could see to set the camera up for the next sequence. Fortunately there were plenty more pies to come!!

As well as the dozen or so pies I had made, I had also bought several litres of ready-made custard. I was determined to make this set a bit classier than some of Bill’s (did you notice the tablecloth?) so was keen to put the custard (warmed in the airing cupboard overnight) into a jug. Unfortunately, I discovered that the biggest jug I had in the house was a tiny Pyrex one!! This was a bit of a pain as I had to keep filling it up (it took two jugs to fill my cleavage alone – hehe no pun intended!). But the warm custard felt so nice it was worth the effort. In fact, by the end I’d poured custard down my cleavage, in my knicks (front and back) even inside my stockings! I can still remember how good it was!

By the end I was (as usual!) on the floor plastering myself with everything I had left. Several full face pies, more custard, an ill-conceived attempt at pouring custard over my head and pieing myself simultaneously (not possible, so edited out!). I love this bit. I can be as silly as I want and stop being the well behaved, smart PA I have to be during the week.

The only snag is trying to concentrate on photos when my pussy is aching for my fingers to push its buttons rather than the cameras. Fanny or Fuji? Tough call… As a result I was disappointed at how many of the shots came out blurred (especially my attempts at body close-ups) so they have been left out of even the full set. Even so I managed 90 good ones, and much more importantly had a fantastic time!

I hope you like them. Being impatient I put one or two photos up on my Fetlife page and a couple of members have been very nice about them. I think some of BDSM crowd think I’m mad and sometimes doing these solo sets seems odd even to me. But I love the spontaneity of them, doing what I want when I want without somebody directing me. I hope the $5 charge for the last two sets in full doesn’t make me appear ‘professional’ cos I’m so not and never want to be. Any money (and I am not expecting much as you can see many of the shots free at The Free House) will be ring-fenced, as politicians say, to go toward costumes and gunge! I don’t want to make a profit, I just want my sets to get bigger, better and messier without having to sell my house!!! And there will always be a free version of anything I do available as well on Channel Free.
You see, now I’ve started getting messy again I want to carry on for ever!

Related posts:

1. CC meets DD in Sploshworld
2. Playing with our Dolly
3. Clown Julie’s Bank Holiday Slosh Fest!

The four sketches include Davina’s amazing Newsreading stint which sees her soaked to the skin, deluged with food, sticky with syrup, sprayed with paint, covered in mud and then topped off with treacle (by which time she is lying naked on the newsdesk!). It was shot at Brian Grove of Crazy Girls’ place in Preston (Davina being a fellow student there at that time) with me pouring the stuff from a balcony way above the set. This made it hard to aim and incredibly hot! To hear more about it, read the notes on the film at www.hits.sploshdownloads.com.

Fans of big boobs should definitely not miss Karen and Rani making a wedding cake. Both buxom girls get their titanic tits covered (and the rest of them, of course) with Karen reacting in her usual slightly offbeat way!

And there is a rather fine wetlook and clay scene featuring a very young Vicky Ford installing a very unpredictable shower. It starts with her getting drenched in denim (jeans and jacket) before she changes into a stunning blue satin suit which gets coated in clay before she showers in that as well. We and messy satin fans, take note!

But for brilliant reactions, acting and facial expressions, it really is hard to beat Sammy-Jane consumer testing custard pies on posh presenter, Ophelia. The latter’s acting was so good in fact that it caught us out completely – we really did think she was in a strop at one point! You can also spot a few instances of Sammy laughing at her performance during the sketch. It really is great fun – though Sam doesn’t look that pleased in the pic below!

Anyway, we hope you like our latest selection. There’s plenty more to come, so keep an eye on the site.

No related posts.

So that's the full menu Madam?

Bit of a miserable week for me as I was laid low with an attack of flu-bris – the hubris caused when you think you have defeated the flu and instead it comes back worse than ever. So, coughing, sneezing etc I have been stuck indoors for the last seven days except for a brief visit from Clown Julie’s comedy partner Charlie who told me all about their pie-flinging encounter with mature glamour puss, Miss Jones…

There’s only one thing disappointing about meeting Charlie. You really want him to arrive in a miniature car with every panel painted a different primary colour, which comes to a halt with a massive explosion blowing the doors off and making foam squirt out of the radiator. That’s what clown cars do. Sadly hire cars don’t and as Charlie is by day a serious scientist and he was en route from meetings in London to ‘something he couldn’t talk about’ in Finland, that was what he was drivng.

After picking up one of Julie frocks and his clown shoes from the studio (as you can see from the picture above taken from their film in our downloads section you need a big car for those alone!), we popped down the pub where the ‘serious scientist’ was far more impressed by the St Austell bitter that was on sale. We started to chat. Now Charlie isn’t the boastful sort, but even so conversations with him do tend to leave you feeling somewhat inferior. As if the casually-mentioned trip to Finland wasn’t impressive enough, Charlie had just returned from the Canadian Arctic where he’d been living in a tent eating such Inuit delicacies as seal eyes and raw liver (apparently they like it that way cos it’s warm and wet). I began to see why the beer was so impressive.
Entertainment was a bit short out in the Arctic as well. It was a choice between watching the Inuit TV station featuring an Eskimo Blue Peter that taught kids how to trap, skin and disembowel groundhogs or editing a film of Julie and Miss Jones getting messy on his laptop. Tough call – not!
For those who have yet to visit her website, Miss Jones is a mature model who specialises in what could best be described as 60s-style glamour (lots of stockings and sussies) who’d seen Julie at work and fancied taking part in a clown-style pie-throwing routine with her. Charlie had been asked to help shoot it and edit it in return for use of the messy bit of the film – which we hope might be coming to Splosh! Downloads in the future. Julie was doing it purely for the chance to have a pie fight with another woman!

In many ways, it went very well. Miss Jones proved a natural comedienne and literally couldn’t stop laughing all the time she was pieing Julie. She was also good at taking the pies as well, her facial expressions being exactly the comic style they both love. The only difficult bit was Charlie and Miss Jones’ photograher co-operating on the two camera shoot. Apparently this turned into a scene more like the Charlie character we know and love with them arguing over who was filming what, when to start and whether to stop. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear… It had more than an element of the Chuckle Brothers about it, especially as the cameras emitted a loud ‘bing-bong’ every time they started, all of which had to be removed in the edit. However, whilst the clowning around behind the cameras was a bit exasperating, the clowning around in front of them was extremely arousing. Fingers slipped everywhere as the two ladies got covered in creamy pie, and Julie was in messy heaven. Miss Jones seemed pretty happy too.

As I said, we hope we can bring you this film in the future, and of course more Julie adventures with Gilly, Sammy and Co when Charlie returns from whatever remote spot he is working in next. I did wonder (in light of the famous shoe bomber incident) what airport security would make of Charlie’s oversized red footwear. Perhaps he is already languishing in some jail being waterboarded by US soldiers. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…
PS Just thought of this…How can you tell an Iraqi clown? He has the only car that doesn’t blow up…

Related posts:

1. Clown Julie’s Bank Holiday Slosh Fest!
2. Ups and Downloads
3. We Splosh the Reporter from Scarlet magazine

No related posts.

Well, we have finally bitten the bullet and found a way round all this by teaming up with our friends at the WAM Store. All being well, the download pages will merge seamlessly into this website whilst at the same time taking advantage of their excellent facilities.
We had hoped to do it all ourselves but in the end credit card companies who wanted tax returns from our first born, no mentions of bondage or pee anywhere on the site and other Christian fundamentalist morality drove us into the arms of SoundGuy.
We are currently designing the site and I am teaching myself how to use it (a slow process for a man used to chucking pies rather than grappling with FTP) but we hope to have something up an running in the next couple of weeks. We really hope you will like it.

As well as poor Tracy here, there will be a lot of previously unseen films, exclusive new material from Clown Julie, DD, Candy Custard, and Sammy-Jane (to name a few), photo-stories from MessClub7 and a lot, lot more.
Let’s just hope it all works and we can brighten up this credit squeezed summer with some seriously over-the-top sploshing!

Related posts:

1. CC meets DD in Sploshworld
2. Ohhh Miss Jones!!

Katie is not just a sweet , great-looking girl – as this cleaner picture of her shows…

….she just loves getting messy and is a fantastically good sport. As well as appearing with Gilly on Graham Norton, she has been stuck in the stocks, pelted with pies, covered in chocolate, spanked – and this week pelted with even more pies, custard, baked beans and (next week) deluged with five different flavours of thick cake mix gunge! A real trooper! So if anyone deserves to get the £30,000 prize it’s her – not some airhead model who’ll blow it all on one designer handbag.

So vote for her now.
Simply go to www.fhm.com/honeys/katiegreen and vote for her there or you can text your vote by sending Honey Katie (with a space between the two) to 86145. Texts cost just 15p each plus your standard network rate (scarcely an Ant & Dec-style rip off).
So how did a pretty, splosh-loving girl get to be noticed by FHM? Well, it might just be her interview technique. Applying for the Hot Honey contest she was granted an interview after being asked on her application form to describe herself in three words. Naturally, she ignored ‘bubbly’, ‘beautiful’, ‘caring’, ‘loyal’ etc and went for ‘slim, sexy and psychotic’! And got in. Then at the interview itself when they tried to catch her out with one of those silly questions – in this case “How would you dispose of a dead body?” – instead of clamming up, she smiled sweetly and said, “First I’d chop it up then feed it to the pigs. Then I’d kill the pigs and make you eat the the evidence through the medium of bacon buttiess!” Not your average model’s reply.

We love her – and you will too in the next two weeks updates at www.gillysillyhouse.com – so get voting. Otherwise, remember, she knows how to dispose of your remains!

Related posts:

1. Virgin on the Ridiculous
2. Name Those Nawks? It’s Pub Quiz Queen Jenny!
3. I won’t let The Sun go down on me

Although Dolly is a regular visitor to the Splosh! studios – not to mention our local pub (the local B&B owner telling us ‘she is quite often a bit hungover in the mornings!”) this was Candy Custard’s first time here, and only her second professional shoot. Rather surprisingly, she liked Hastings rating it above her native Hinkley on the grounds that “it has the sea and Debenhams”. So it follows that she was keen to enjoy the full seaside experience. The sun was out, for once, so the top heavy twosome went for a walk on the beach to admire the front – something that happens to them all the time! Despite being chilly they had to have ice creams and even a paddle


before hitting some of Hastings top designer shops (like the local angling emporium cos they liked the name,

and Substance, a shop that sells a combination of ‘smoking requisites’ and sex aids so is known locally as the Dong & Bong). Then full of rubbish seaside food they came to the studio to play with a lot more!
We managed to shoot two films with them. The first was based on the famous old song Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better, with the girls boasting abut just how messy or rude they could be and trying to outdo each other. A lot of pies, eggs, custard, chocolate sauce, cake mix and treacle covered every inch of their spectacular curves and by the end – at absolutely no insistance from me – they were kissing and licking each other’s tits, fondling their own and their opponent’s fannies and getting stuck into some serious mucky minge munching. The breathing made it obvious to even the most cynical splosh film maker that these girls were doing it for real and loving what they were getting up to. Anything You Can Do will be a download on this site soon, but before then we will be running stills from it to let you know what a horny time you are in for.
The second movie was for Gilly’s Silly House (www.gillysillyhouse.com) and should be available for members to download this weekend. It’s a two part adventure starring DD in her famous Alice role and Candy as the Queen of Hearts. Just as the story goes, she had made some tarts and it isn’t long before the dumplinged duo are indulging in a tit-for-tat pie fight washed down with plenty of custard.



That will be Part One which will be at the Silly House this weekend – look out for more pictures from it on the Forum then.
But in Part Two the action gets a lot hotter as the chocolate, cake mix and treacle come out. Again with no direction from me our girls were plunging their faces between each other’s enormous knockers, playing with each other’s sticky pussies and taking it in turns to bury their heads between their new mucker’s thighs! It is very steamy stuff as these shots show. More to follow on the Forum next week.


Again, the breathing gives away just how genuine all this is. These girls are both REAL SPLOSHERS.
Finally we hit the pub, and still fired by adrenalin and in the girls’ cases a lot of sexual energy the drink flowed. In Candy’s case it was in the form of double vodka and cokes whilst Dolly and I stuck to a more moderate singles knowing we weren’t going anywhere for a long while. Thanks to the rate they were going down, the money being pumped into the juke box to keep the cheesy music going and the boss being away, Shane (our favourite barman) kept us locked in till after 4am! By this time the girls had entertained local pissheads like Masonic Jim and John the Alice Cooper fan and been approached by an over amorous gentleman from the Czech republic. Spotting Candy’s considerable cuddle buckets, he came over and said, “I luurrvvve your cleave-arge. Please be my partner!” When she turned him down (and we asked him to talk to someone else) he muttered something about us all being racists and disappeared forgotten into the night.
Less easily forgotten is the moment we left Candy alone with Jason our local garage proprietor. Dolly and I were chatting at the bar when we turned round and saw she was giving him a pole dancing demo! Then, just to prove what he had learned, Jason returned the compliment, stripping off his shirt and dancing for her! Well, it was 3am by then!
At 4.30, even Shane had had enough of our antics and I dropped CC and DD at the B&B where amazingly they made it up for breakfast at 8.30 (I didn’t even make lunch!). However, their Full Englishes went pretty well untouched…
“You didn’t do very well, did you?” said Pat the owner.
How wrong you are, Pat. They did VERY WELL and when all of you see the Silly House videos and the Splosh! one later on, you’ll be bound to agree. Meanwhile, I’m off to a rest home to recover.

Related posts:

1. Sammy-Jane meets Stephanie Tart
2. Playing with our Dolly
3. Virgin on the Ridiculous