As I’ve mentioned before, the general fetish munch held in my local pub in St Leonards is always worth a visit. However this month’s was even better than ever. Why? Because we decided to give the munchers a taste of sploshing!

We had been hoping to stage something of the sort all winter but not surprisingly the landlady wasn’t too keen on having her pub plastered with custard (especially as it had just been painted) so we had to wait till the warmer weather so we could stage something sploshy  in the rather grandly titled beer garden. As everyone who was there agreed, it was well worth the wait…And they nearly had to wait even longer! The sploshing had already been postponed once due to a last minute hospital appointment of mine and this time just as I set up the table in the garden….

Getting ready to go…again.

Luscious Lily up for anything!

One person who did arrive looking amazing and as enthusiastic as ever was the lovely Lilibee, my victim, sorry, co-presenter for the night. Lily is a local lady from just down the road in Hastings and has been sploshing for fun for several years. She turned up at the munch the previous month expecting a demo then only to be disappointed. Now she was going to be the star of the show! See what can happen when you spend any time in the pub with me!

As the storm had abated at least temporarily I set the table up again, and as the water trickled down the drains, the munchers trickled in. Soon the pub was almost as well filled as Lily’s bra and I was getting keen to top the latter up some more but first there was the small matter of torturing a teddy to get out the way!

The pub croc says hello to the Eastbourne mascot

Bernard the bear is the mascot of the ‘rival’ Eastbourne munch. Being a heartless bunch in that particularly posh resort, Bernard (who boasts an unfeasibly large cock and bollocks) was left behind at their last do – so one of our lot kidnapped him (or should it be ted-napped him?) and brought him along. It was decided to subject him to a warm St Leonards welcome. First he was tied up and gagged, then he had an unfortunate encounter with the pub crocodile who lives upside-down on the ceiling (think Spidercroc) and finally he met Rex who formed an instant attachment to him. Unfortunately for Bernard, Rex is a beautiful, golden-coloured corn snake!

Bernard is cuddled by Rex the real, live corn snake

With the weather looking threatening again and in danger of being upstaged by a teddy bear, Lily and I announced we were off to start our demo. Without any more encouragement, the entire pub followed us out. It wasn’t the warmest night of the year. The wind was whipping up (appropriate for a fetish night) and it had started drizzling but that was nothing compared to what was about to pour down on Lily.

Getting saucy...

First we explained that most people preferred to splosh with sweet things and instantly demonstrated this by coating the lovely Lily in sticky strawberry sauce, chocolate and custard. Her capacious cleavage was the main target but some ‘accidentally’ went over her head and down over her arms till she was a lovely icky mess.

The custard hits the spot...

Next we turned our attention to Lily’s favourite – Carnation condensed milk which I started by pouring over her and she obligingly continued by pouring over herself! I’ve never used it before but it does indeed have a lovely consistency for sploshing.

The best place to wear a Carnation

Then I offered to demonstrate the joys of baked beans and spaghetti which (in a carefully pre-rehearsed gag) Lily refused opting instead to have her knickers filled! Bending her down in front of the now gobsmacked audience, I poured in a litre of custard and a couple of tins of rice pudding and gave them a bit of a smack (who says I don’t know how to work a BDSM crowd?).

Then beat the eggs...with a paddle!

This seemed to go do well, so I repeated the trick I used on Tigerr in a recent download and filled the back of Lily’ panties with whole eggs, then smashed them with a leather-covered metal paddle! Call it, if you will,  a demonstration of the best way I know to beat eggs. Sure enough, raw egg was soon running in rivulets down the back of her thighs, glistening in the light of the pub’s security lamps (it was sooo glamorous!).

After another refused offer to show her the delights of baked beans, it was then time to get out the pies. Shaving foam this time – well, the pub has no showers (unsurprisingly) and there was some limit to the mess we were allowed to make in their garden. However, there were plenty of them and Lily was soon nicely plastered, especially with her favourite pie sandwiches.

Splat! Out of the darkness, something came...

Now she was blind and deaf with foam pie, I thought I might get away with using up those prepared bowls of baked beans and spaghetti but no,  Lily had other ideas! With a deft movement she grabbed them instead and had the nerve to plaster her host – much to the audience’s delight (especially the pub regulars).

Revenge! She won't get away with that for long!

Well, we have punishments for that, so it was off to the pillory for her where I could pie her without any fear of revenge! There, Lily took many flans in the face, plenty in the bum and boobs (along with anything else I could find lying around) and yet more custard down her already well-filled front.

Into the stocks with the wench!

Shall we leave her there?

Once I had grown tired of messing Lily up – or rather run out of ingredients – I did the decent thing and let the lovely lady out…

…only for her to attack me with a carton of custard! How ungrateful can you get! Still I’ll let her off for now.

Lily looks smug after another bout of revenge

Besides, it was time now to get clean using the pub’s state of the art facilities – a hose connected to the outdoor cold tap! I would love to say for comedy purposes it was freezing – but whether it was adrenalin or arousal, neither of us felt the cold as we hosed each other down with the water turned on full blast. Wouldn’t fancy it so much in the winter, mind!

When we’d finally cleaned ourselves up enough to be allowed back in the pub, one female muncher was being tied up and the regulars were happily taking the piss out of ‘the bit where you got the beans’, but we were too much in need of alcohol to care. A few drinks later and the largely non-sploshing audience were being very complimentary. Several have offered to have a go and (unless I am very much mistaken) Lily had not only enjoyed herself but become a regular. She is a lovely lady with a proper sensible job who just adores all sorts of mistreatment – the ideal companion. She’s also very entertaining company. So a big hand for her – and bigger bowls. The ones I supplied don’t fit her boobs!

Epilogue…

The next day I went back to the pub to clean up the garden a bit more and collect my things. Two well dressed, respectable men were sat in the corner and called me over.

“Err.. I hope you don’t mind me saying,” said one nervously. “But we are in the area working and happened to come here last night. The landlady said you wouldn’t mind if we watched your little show in the garden so we did.”

“Oh right!” I said slightly taken aback. “I hope you weren’t too shocked.”

“Far from it, It was great fun.”

“Well,” I said half jokingly. “If you go to splosh.co.uk you can see a lot more of it.”

“Really!” exclaimed the one on the left with genuine enthusiasm. “Can I write that down?”

If you’re reading this, sir, Lily says Hi!

Many thanks to Dean (known as Bumblepee on Fetlife) for these photos which I think I can safely say he thoroughly enjoyed taking. He is also the proud owner of Rex the corn snake! Ta, Dean!

Big thanks too to the pub for letting us do it!

The St Leonards General Fetish Munch is held every 2nd Wednesday of the month at the Marina Fountain pub at the western end of the seafront opposite West St Leonards Gardens. It’s run by a guy called Simon and his voluptuous missus and is very friendly and welcoming. And although it is purely a munch (ie just a pub get-together) we do occasionally have some fun – as you can see.

Related posts:

1. Munch on This!
2. ‘Come Pie with Me!’ says Lily S

Mix pervs and Playdoh and this is what you get

I went to another St Leonards munch in my local pub on Wednesday to be handed a lump of Playdoh by beautifully buxom hostess Hellenes and told to make something ‘erotic’. Sadly my efforts are too pathetic to be recorded here, unlike the lips lovingly crafted by a lady called Jewel and the knobbly cock created by Kitty that somehow ‘got together’ above. But I managed to get hold of photos of some of the better ones…

Morph - the Porn Movie!

Whilst many settled for making cocks or tits with varying degrees of accuracy, a  gentleman called Bumblepee provided two scenes from what I can only be described as a mucky version of Morph including facesitting and a nicely made threesome.

"Cracking threesome, Gromit!" cried Wallace unaware the dog was watching his master through the keyhole.

Also worthy of mention was another couple produced a whole series of plastercine BDSM toys including handcuffs, a butt plug and a cat o’ nine tails (or as one non-muncher described it, “Ooooh look a red octopus!”). And somebody created this fine caned bottom, much praised by Hellenes for its detail – and not remotely cos it’s what she would like to inflict herself!

Bottom's up! Well it is a pub, afterall.

Meanwhile at another table, for the less artistically minded, a gingerly hirsuite man was having his chest hair waxed away rather painfully by just about every woman in the pub much to the amusement of onlookers – and his considerable pleasure!

That was the scene that greeted three young, rather drunk girls, who fell in our ordinary pub on a snowy Wednesday night somewhat pissed and now wondering if they dreamt it all. No, you didn’t, ladies. Check your mobile phones – you have several pictures taking it in turns to lick the cock!

So what has this go to do with sploshing? Well, I did get to tell the Billie Piper story (again) and Jewel is considering having a messy tea party with ten female friends at the studio in the spring – so the munches  are gradually attracting more sploshy interest. In the meantime, they are fantastic fun and as you may have gathered very informal, so you should consider coming down to St Leonards on the second Wednesday of each month. Maybe in the summer we might even get enough together for a pie fight!

Related posts:

1. When the Munch Got Messy…
2. Our Messiest Private Session Yet!

Pied Piper! Billie about to get it in the face

As you may well have noticed with posts on our forum and UMD plus several appearances by the lady herself on chat shows, Billie Piper is about to get sploshed in her ITV 2 series Secret Diary of a Call Girl. As we have recounted earlier, we had a lot of say in this scene pointing out just how sploshing works (no little dabs of cream, big pies, knicker filling, cake sitting etc) and we look forward to seeing how many make it into the show…

Pantie-monium. Her 'client' knows want he wants

We know from the trailer there is a half decent pie thrown in Billie’s face and the stills show some evidence of a big bowl of beans going down her all-too-tiny panties, so it seems promising. In her chat appearances including Friday Night with Jonathan Ross and This Morning (with one-time Saturday morning messy goddess Holly Willoughby) Billie has being saying what a fun time she had doing the scene and the real Belle de Jour (the call girl in the title) has said she has indulged herself  sploshing ‘recreationally’. So one way or another our favourite subject is getting quite a bit of welcome publicity.

Golden Heinz. Billie about to feel full of beans

One bit of publicity we are not so sure is welcome is Billie’s insistance that sploshing is all based in Hastings (it’s a bit bigger than that!). We look forward to hearing from the council on that! Perhaps they will change the signs from Hastings 1066 Country to Hastings Splosh! Country though I doubt it. I was also amused that on Jonathan Ross she claimed to have attended a Splosh! convention in Hastings to find out more about it. As regular readers here know, actually we went to a meeting in a very sober office in London with the writers and producers. They (and certainly not Billie) didn’t come down here to join in sadly.

It does mean that I can boast something I would never have imagined – that Billie Piper has lied about meeting me! Had it been the other way round, I doubt anyone would be surprised at all!

No related posts.

Sarah's First Gunging

Phew! Well, we’ve just about cleared up after what was undoubtedly our biggest ever private session. Over 150 pies, 36 litres of custard and nine full buckets of thick cake mix (all pastel colours – no red or brown we were told) were thrown at and over three girls – one of them completely new to messy modelling! Yes, it was quite a baptism, but as you can see, we didn’t let her off lightly!

Charlie, Sarah and Lily S learn what's in store

The three lovely girls were Charlie and Sarah from Essex and Lily S who had travelled from Derby for the day. Charlie had worked with Gungegirls in the past and although newly pregnant was only too happy to cross the Thames for this spectacular session. Lily was equally enthusiastic, though she normally works at home with a webcam. Newcomer Sarah was understandably nervous…but it wasn’t long before she was ‘mucking in’ quite literally.

The pies start to fly...

The excited threesome were to take part in three sketches – that meant three changes of clothes and nine showers as well as the sessions themselves so it was going to be a long afternoon. Fortunately our visitor had carefully scripted the items so the girls could take turns in the shower, otherwise we might have been there all day.

..and Sarah gets the hang of it quickly!

The first sketch was a demonstration of pie throwing to teach Sarah how to throw – and take a pie. Not that she really needed instruction – it was just a good excuse to throw a total of around 70 pies at the girls, a lot ending up in Sarah’s direction. Lots of giggling and no shying away – in fact, in Lily’s case, in the quieter moments she’d happily pie herself.

Sketch two was about covering the girls completely in the 36 litres of custard which they all enjoyed even though the magic yellow liquid varied dramatically in temperature from the boiling hot to the freezing cold! Sarah even obliged us by rolling around in the deep puddle of custard on the floor – an act of extreme bravery beyond the call of duty given the rapidly reducing warmth of the mess.

Then came the finale – a sort of quiz with the girls in their best dresses being pied, pieing each other, and then getting three buckets of gunge each!

Charlie's second bucket of cake mix

Charlie was up first and she and baby happily submitted to the multi-coloured gallons of goo. Then came Sarah. The pies and custard had warmed her up and she was ony too happy to sit under the three torrents of thick heavy cake mix…

Sarah feels in the pink at her gunge debut

First  orange was poured over her, then pink and finally a bucket of green gunge was thrown at her and the rest poured over her head…

Sarah finds our studio comes with food thrown in...

But rather than run away, Sarah sat taking the lot only to be decorated with the remains of the custard by Lily for her troubles. A great trooper, and probably the most messy debut by any sploshing model. So big respect!

Lily S - quiet at last!

Not that Lily had much time to be cocky about giving poor Sarah the cold custard treatment! The chatty, giggly home splosher was soon silenced by a gallon of yellow cake mix followed closely by pink…

She'll get you back for this - and she did!

and then green…

Only when our guest rewarded her brief period of quietude with the last few remaining pies in her face did she return to her normal noisy self. Lily pulled him down into deep lake of cake and custard, made him lie on his back and then buried him in everything she could find – ending up triumphantly standing with one foot on his prostrate form (hidden deep beneath a mucky mountain of mess and paper plates).

It was a fine finish to a fun afternoon – even though the showering went on well into the evening and the clearing up filled the weekend! Lily, Sarah and Charlie were all excellent. They laughed, chatted and squealed but never once protested – even though messy sessions in mid-January are never the most comfortable. Many thanks to them, and to our annual guest who always introduces us to interesting people.

See you again next year – and, we hope, we’ll see the girls a lot sooner than that!

Related posts:

1. More Stills from Our Messiest Session
2. Who’s a Silly Billie?
3. Munch on This!

Welcome to the wacky, wet-and-messy world of SPLOSH! Here you’ll find everything your messy heart (and other parts!) desires from silly slapstick sketches to seriously sensual sploshing – on download, on DVD, or online in our free-to-use gallery & TV station, Channel Free.

Not only that, but you can chat and share your experiences & photos with fellow sploshers at our fun, friendly forum – or find out what we’ve been up complete with behind-the-scenes stories at our Soggy Blog.

We want you to have as much mucky fun as we do, so jump in and join me in a world where the custard is always warm and a big wet pie in the face is the only way to say “I love you”!

Come on, guys & girlies! You know you want to. Let me have it!

Keep it Coming!

Hayley x x x

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